This bitch, I can’t even. I don’t even know where to start.
Okay, well first up, I’ll say that I meant to get this post up hours ago, but if you check out my instagram, you can see that I got a tube shoved in my nose and all the way down my oesophagus this morning, and it’s rather uncomfortable, so I decided to take a nap to avoid the whole thing for a few hours when I got home. That and I was feeling lazy. What are ya gonna do, you know? Excuse the fact that I look feral as fuck in the photo.
Anyway, let’s move on. You’re probably aware of my love for Teen Mom by now, and the original is by far my favourite because I really like Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Tyler, and their kids. Amber, on the other hand. Well, she’s always been a fucking trainwreck. I watch her scenes with the same kind of feeling I got watching the fourth and fifth seasons of Weeds, when every time Nancy would do anything I’d wonder if she was actually going to induce a stroke in me because I’d get all worked up thinking ‘How?! HOW can you think this is a good idea?!’ Amber does the same shit. When she instigates fights with Gary in front of Leah and then says that he made her punch him and it’s basically all his fault, ugh. She makes me sick.
Until recently, though, I did think she was an infinitely better mother than Jenelle from Teen Mom 2, and no, not because of this massive, fugly tattoo that she got:
But rather, because it seemed to me that she gave a shit what happened to her kid, unlike Jenelle, who quite obviously and unashamedly doesn’t give a rat’s ass what happens to Jace as long as she’s got whatever near-homeless boyfriend she’s seeing by her side and a fat blunt in her hand.
Speaking of the two of them, you can click here to see Amber naked, and click here to see Jenelle before and after her boob job, although you can’t see nips or vag. Gross. Why would you even want to, though, for real.
Let’s get back on track before I talk about how gross I think those two are for the rest of this post.
Amber went and got herself addicted to the opiate based drug Suboxone, which is highly addictive and similar to morphine. Back in December after her drug possession arrest, the judge went easy on her and offered her court ordered rehab so that she could avoid jail time, which is nice, since, ya know, she’s got a little kid who probably wants to have her mother around during her formative years, and all. The terms of the sentence were that if she completed the rehab program that the judge would dismiss the charges, and if not, she faced five years in the slammer. Basically from that moment on she was in and out of jail consistently for failing to do… well, anything. She couldn’t have done less to help herself if she’d tried.
When she got to court the other day, she asked the judge to throw her in prison because she hadn’t stayed clean, and was buying Suboxone off the street. Motherhood be damned, right? She said that she’d always be a ‘bad girl’ and she should just be put in prison. Apparently she thinks she’ll be able to go cold turkey in prison. LOL. While I’ve never been to prison, I feel as though I would probably choose five years with my kid who loves me over five years hard time with a bunch of scenarios that we don’t need to get into right here.
Anyway, to sum up how I feel about this, Amber is fucked, and I feel sorry for Leah because she’s got truly, truly shitty parents and she probably doesn’t have a chance in hell of turning out well.
Tags: rant, drug addiction, Teen mom, Amber Portwood, celebrities, naked celebrities, entertainment, legal troubles, legal problems, MTV, drug abuse, reality tv, reality stars, reality television, drug problem, legal issues, Teen Mom 2, Leah Shirley, Gary Shirley, drugs, Jace Evans, dumb bitch
