PCP Recap – The video for One More Night by Maroon 5 may not be at all relevant to the song, but Adam Levine is shirtless in it, so it’s just fine by me.

 

Welcome to PCP’s first video recap WITH SCREENCAPS. I’m so good to y’all, for real. I had to Google ‘how to screencap YouTube Videos’ because after having my Mac for over two years, apparently there are still things I’m not sure how to do. I’m going to need you to go ahead and ignore where you can see the little red loading bar at the bottom when you can see it there. First time, you know?

Anyway, let’s get to it! If you’d like, you can watch the video beforehand, (you should ‘coz Adam Levine and Minka Kelly are babes), but I mean, I SCREENCAPPED the shit out of it so you can get the gist either way.

 

So that shot up there is what we open on, and let me tell you, pay attention, because those goldfish will be important later on in the video.

We get a bunch of quick shots of happy snaps of Adam Levine, Minka Kelly, and what is presumably their child together. Minka Kelly is super pretty. I’m sure Adam Levine could give up Victoria’s Secret models if the other option was Minka Kelly.

 

I should probably be thinking about how cute that baby is, but really I’m just looking at Adam Levine and thinking about how I wouldn’t mind making a baby with him. Hey-o!

 

I think what we’re seeing is ‘domestic bliss.’ Adam’s tending to the baby while his super hot girlfriend makes him breakfast.

Ooh, a training montage. I don’t really get what’s happening, because in my mind this video was going to be all sexually charged like Love the Way You Lie, but less violent, and without Eminem hanging out in a field. I don’t really watch boxing movies, so I’m going to assume that this is referencing Rocky, or The Fighter, or Warrior, or that one that I can’t remember the name of but is basically Step Up but with punching.

 

Adam Levine can have a fierce boxing career AND maintain his home life while he trains for what I assume will be a big fight (because I feel like in all those films there’s ALWAYS a big fight coming up because what would the point be otherwise?). Or can he? Ooh, foreshadowing.

 

There’s this really gratuitous Minka Kelly ass shot that reminds me of Jessica Beil in Texas Chainsaw massacre, particularly because they’re basically wearing the same thing:

 

You guys should take a look at my search history sometime, because believe me when I say I Google some weird shit to find these pictures for y’all sometimes.

 

Ooh, mysterious. She looks like she’s up to something.

 

Don’t worry about why your girlfriend isn’t talking to you, she still made you breakfast, so y’all are cool. Back to training!

 

See? It’s a new day and shit’s cool again, maybe she was just on her period or something. Girls, right? Kind weird how they’re all wearing the same thing every day.

 

‘Laterz, babe. Off to kick some ass!’

 

Just a heads up, if you leave to go to work and your girlfriend looks like this, be prepared for a shit storm. That being said, I actually don’t understand what her deal is. Looks to me like he just has a job that he goes to everyday like the majority of us do, and she’s pitchin’ a bitch fit about it.

 

Uh-oh, have you been paying attention? These are the fish from the start! If we’re seeing them again their must be a reason. Let’s keep watching.

 

The BIG FIGHT is here! DING DING!

 

Adam’s in the ring, ready to kick some ass like the champion he is. (Look at his trophies up there in the fish shot! WINNER!)

 

Meanwhile, wait, what’s going on at home?! Is she packing? Are they going on a trip?

 

Uh oh, guys, I think things might be getting serious up in hurrrrrrrr.

 

There’s a fight montage going on while Minka’s packing all her shit up, but I like this screenshot better.

 

This is the part where he regroups because he’s losing. HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH HE’S LOSING RIGHT NOW, OMG.

 

He gets back into the fight and WINS. WINNERRRRRRRRRRR!

 

The camera makes a big deal about her packing up these two books, and focuses on her packing her copy of Grimms’ Fairytales for what feels like a very long time. OMG THIS IS SO DEEP, their fairytale is OVUH.

 

‘Hey baby! I’m a champion!!’

 

‘Baby? Da fuck? Did we get robbed?’

 

‘What the fuck is going on?’

 

‘Oh, shit. Now I understand. You’ve left me and used our fish as symbolism instead of talking to me about it or even leaving a note when you moved my daughter out of our house. That’s totally normal.’

 

‘Fuck. I chose my career over my girlfriend’s happiness one too many times, and now I’m paying the price.’

 

‘This is definitely my fault and not the fault of my psychotic girlfriend.’

 

Okay. For real. This video is mental.

First up, the lyrics to this song are all about a couple who fight and make up constantly because they’re bad for each other but it’s all sexy and passionate, but they should break up because they’re bad for each other.

The video, on the other hand, is about Minka Kelly living some Kate Winslet in Revolutionary Road life of quiet desperation, supporting her boxer boyfriend, smiling, raising their child, cooking him meals, but really hating every second of it and plotting her escape.

If she doesn’t like what he does, fair enough, but there’s really no indicator of that in the video that I saw. Also, he’s a champion, the trophies say so. And since the trophies are from like 2006, and there’s no way that kid was born before 2006, maaaaaybe she should’ve thought twice before having his kid if she knew she didn’t like his career. Bitches be psycho, yo.

I don’t even.

Also, although you don’t see it in the video, I totally picture her grabbing her fish out of the bowl the way Chandler’s insane roommate Eddie does, because let’s be realistic, she’s just as fucking unhinged.

If you don’t know which scene I’m talking about, you can see the scene here at 8:00.

Anyway, what did you think of the video? Are you team Minka or team Adam?

 

Related Posts:

PCP Loves – Maroon 5′s new single One More Night.

Adam Levine has joined Leonardo DiCaprio’s prestigious club.

Adam Levine is rightfully scared of Jennifer Love Hewitt.