Rihanna kissed Chris Brown on the cheek, and other things that happened at the MTV VMA’s.
Rihanna, I love you, and you’re my girl, but this is some goddamn bullshit that you’re upto right here.
I can’t even, and I’m getting ahead of myself, so let’s jump back to the beginning of the night, shall we?
Okay, first up, let’s start by saying that it’s not even a real VMA’s if Britney doesn’t turn up, and she didn’t, so basically they probably should’ve just cancelled the whole thing, hey. Okay, okay, I’m kidding (kind of), but without her, Madonna, Gaga, Beyonce, Justin Bieber and Christina, it kind of felt a little hollow, maybe. I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me. Anyway, here are the red carpet photos:
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- RuPaul can do what he wants. No rules apply to RuPaul.
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- Moving on…
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- Zoe looks cute, although again, I don’t know why she’s there. Maybe MTV just had a whole ton of seats to fill this year.
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- Should I know who these people are, or what’s the deal? I think I’ll call her ‘not-Rihanna.’
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- What is there to say about Ne-Yo? I mean, there’s really nothing interesting going on here to comment on.
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- WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU AT THE VMA’s?!
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- What the fuck. Doesn’t Pink know by now that a dress like that is for Rihanna, not for someone as athletic as she is? Goddamn. Fire your stylist.
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- See? Look how cute they are in comparison. To quote Claire from Modern Family, they are ‘totes adorbs.’
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- Let’s be honest, no one cares about the Wanted when 1D are around, so let’s move on.
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- Rih looks cute but I was expecting something a little more fun from her for the VMA’s.
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- WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY AT THE VMA’S, MTV?!
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- Miley looks fierce, she’s rocking her new hair (unlike Pink).
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- I have no idea who this is. Apparently she’s an actress, though, so why is she even here? Cute dress though.
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- This dress is way too long, but oh well. She looks cute anyway.
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- Looks like someone finally taught Ke$ha how to bathe. Not much use though, because that hair colour looks foul on her and the dress doesn’t suit her either. What a shame.
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- I don’t love the dress but she’s just so pretty.
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- Okay, not kidding or anything, but I’ve seen her wear this outfit before, right? Like, it’s not just me?
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- Love Emma, she’s so cute.
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- Normally I either hate or am bored by Katy’s outfits, but for once I think she looks amazing. Love the dress.
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- Nicki’s gonna have to pay for a tailor to fix Spiderman’s costume before she returns it to him, because she totally stretched it out. That being said, I think she looks fierce in it.
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- This girl was a basic bitch on Gossip Girl and she’s a basic bitch here. I don’t even really understand why she’s there, since she’s not on MTV and not a singer, and is barely even an actress since she left Gossip Girl. Ugh. Whatever.
Okay, so Kevin Hart hosted, and gave a decently funny opening speech which you can watch below or in HD here. It’s all about mistakes, and is basically a slow burn build up to a joke about Kristen Stewart which wasn’t nearly as harsh as I was expecting (hoping) it would be. It weird ‘coz he says ‘allegedly’ a whole bunch of times, when she’s admitted it and there’s photographic evidence of it. Weird.
He also talks about Drake and Breezy’s fight, Snooki’s baby, Frank Ocean coming out of the closet, and other mistakes that have been made at the VMA’s. Interestingly, he called Madonna and Britney’s kiss at the 2003 VMA’s a mistake, but stayed right away from Britney’s 2007 performance. I liked that, obviously.
Before we get into the performances, here’s the kiss that flipped the Internet upside down:
I really don’t even know what to think about this. I mean, on the one hand, it’s seriously like the most nothing kiss I’ve seen in forever. On the other hand, it’s fucking RIHANNA KISSING THE GUY WHO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER. I really don’t know how to feel about it, so I’m just going to move on.
As for the performances, instead of linking shitty quality ones, I’m just going to say that you can watch all of them (except One Direction and Taylor Swift) in good quality over here. Let’s run through them all real quick, yeah?
2 Chainz and ‘Lil Wayne performed two songs I’ve never heard before, but they kept my attention, so good on them. A solid performance.
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky performed Cockiness/We Found Love. Cunt vogue, as always, and the rapper could probably have toned down his language. Not because it’s offensive, but because when it gets bleeped out, it’s less entertaining for the people at home, which is the majority of the audience. Aside from that, Rih sounded decent, but I wish she’d done choreography for We Found Love. That being said, she looked like she was having a blast, and she’s good to her fans, I just think maybe the VMA’s isn’t the place to spend half a song in a mosh pit where the camera struggles to follow you.
Frank Ocean’s a talented guy with a great voice, but this performance almost bored me to death. Honestly, it’s like they need lessons on how to perform at the VMA’s. I’ll teach them. Lesson one, get a snake.
Alicia Keys did her thing, she was cool, the red stage was wicked, she was all about the fierce ‘tude, it worked. Nicki Minaj was the best thing about it, and Gabby the Olympian was a nice touch, she made the whole thing more interesting to watch.
Pink’s Get the Party Started intro was cool, I laughed when MTV showed Chris Brown, since he hates her for calling him out for miming. Apart from that it was all just your average Pink performance, nothing noteworthy to talk about.
Greenday are still Greenday. That is all.
You can watch One Direction perform One Thing here. I like 1D, I really do, and I give them props for singing live, but I mean, there’s nothing about this performance that is distinguishable from any of their other performances, you know what I mean? This is the VMA’s, your performance should be memorable. After watching the video of it, the most memorable moments of it were Zoe Saldana looking bored as shit, and Katy Perry serenading Rihanna (and fucking up the lyrics).
You can watch Taylor Swift’s performance of new single We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together here. I’m not the hugest fan of Swifty, but the song is catchy as shit and it’s probably the sassiest performance I’ve seen from her. I mean, it’s not saying much because she’s generally a sweetheart, but still. I kinda liked it.
And the winners were:
BEST VIDEO WITH A MESSAGE
Demi Lovato – “Skyscraper”
MOST SHARE-WORTHY VIDEO
One Direction – “What Makes You Beautiful”
BEST EDM VIDEO
Calvin Harris – “Feel So Close”
BEST POP VIDEO
One Direction – “What Makes You Beautiful”
BEST MALE VIDEO
Chris Brown – “Turn Up the Music”
BEST HIP HOP VIDEO
Drake (ft. Lil Wayne) – “HYFR”
BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Nicki Minaj – “Starships”
BEST ROCK VIDEO
Coldplay – “Paradise”
BEST NEW ARTIST
One Direction – “What Makes You Beautiful”
VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Rihanna (ft. Calvin Harris) – “We Found Love”
Related posts:
The MTV VMA nominations, and PCP’s picks.
The Teen Choice Awards finally happened.
The 2012 Emmy nominations and PCP’s picks.
The Teen Choice Award Nominees, and PCP’s picks… Part 2.
A belated ‘what the bitches wore to the CFDA Fashion Awards’ post.
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