Leona Lewis is a snotty leak-tease who’s trying to drum up attention for herself because she’s understandably jealous of Rihanna.

Okay, so let me start by saying that before this, Leona Lewis wasn’t on my radar. I think I know at least one of her songs, but if you asked me what it was called I’d struggle to think of it. So I have no idea what this chick’s deal is, if she’s generally a diva like Christina who thinks she’s better than everyone else, or if she gets her publicity from trash talking everyone else, or if this is just a faux pas on an otherwise unblemished record of pop diva good behaviour. I have no idea, so that’s the stance from which this post is coming from; a place of relative oblivion when it comes to Leona Lewis.

On the other hand, y’all know that RiRi’s place on my personal pop hierarchy is princess first in line to the throne if and when Britney decides to abdicate the throne, so I’ve got mad bias towards her. But that’s probably enough background, let’s get to the actual drama.

This is the deal. Leona’s come out and said that she recorded We Found Love way before Rihanna did, but didn’t want to ‘commit to it’ because she wanted some song called Trouble that I’m fairly sure I’ve never heard to be her first single, and apparently Calvin Harris and his people got sick of waiting. He went on tour with Rihanna and ended up recording the version that became the smash hit single that every person familiar with the pop world has heard and has one of the best videos of Rihanna’s career to go with it.

This is what she said that has me all worked up:

It was the same version and production but mine’s better. I still have the recording but I’d never leak it. That’s so unprofessional.

It was a bit annoying to see how big a hit it was around the world, but if I’d released it maybe it wouldn’t have done as well.

I can’t even. Okay, so you know what’s unprofessional? Saying that it’s exactly the same, but that yours is better. Assuming for a moment that her version is better (which I totally and completely doubt, by the way), why not leak the track to back your shit up? Essentially what she’s said is “I have a version of We Found Love that’s exactly the same as the smash hit song, except that it’s better, but you’ll NEVER HEAR IT because it would be rude to Rihanna to let the world hear how much better my song is. You’re welcome, Rih.’ And you’re right, Leona, it probably wouldn’t have done as well if you’d released it, because I like to think that I’m a fairly standard pop fan, and I love and adore Rihanna and have barely even heard of you. Like, I know you exist, but I don’t really care, and this isn’t helping, because now when I hear your name, this is what I’ll think about. Welcome to my bad list, don’t expect a Christmas card.

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Rihanna’s coming out with a clothing line.

Oh, okay. LiLo’s got her nips out and is holding a gun to her head in her latest Terry Richardson shoot.

If anyone deserves to be glassed it’s Chris Brown.

Russell Simmons defends RiRi’s ‘come one, come all’ attitude towards her vagina.