The Internet decided to teach me a lesson about patience being a virtue this week, and I’m not going to lie to you guys, I hated every second of it. But on Wednesday I finally got to watch the Oprah-LiLo sit down interview that we’ve all been waiting for, and there’s a lot to talk about, so settle in!
Posts tagged ‘alcoholic’
Aw, Lindsay. Look how much she just loves that spotlight.
Okay, so Lindsay made an appearance on David Letterman to promote
her public image ’Scary Movie 5′, but of course, Letterman just asked her a whole bunch of questions about rehab, because he’s David Letterman and making starlets squirm is like his favourite pastime.
I’ve got two options for you, the whole interview or just the promo clip, for those of you who can’t handle looking at her inflated trout pout for 14 minutes.
So I had two fairly different reactions after watching the promo clip versus the whole interview. I saw the promo last night, and it was just… you know… more of the same shit that I’ve watched Lindsay spew every time she’s been in trouble over the last 8 or 9 years, but with an acerbic edge to her voice that reminded me of the time her ex-BFF Paris Hilton got drilled by Letterman about her jail time.
2007. The golden era, right?
Okay, so then this morning, I watched the whole interview, and you guuuuuuys, I don’t know how Lindsay does it, but there’s something about her that just makes me want to believe her and want good things for her. I know, I know! It’s absurd, right?! Like how many times am I going to let her play me?
Despite my better judgement, that sees that I’m just falling for Lindsay’s ‘see how likeable I am because I’m making fun of my situation?’ there’s this part of me that’s like ‘aw, I hope she manages to get her shit together this time.’ It’s completely ridiculous, because when I actually think about how many obstacles are between the current version of Lindsay Lohan and the well-adjusted, happy, functioning adult version of Lindsay Lohan, it doesn’t seem likely that 3 months would even scratch the surface of her addiction problems, let alone the denial of said addictions. Even if they somehow managed to tackle those problems, there would still be the fame/drama/chaos addiction that she seems to deal with, and they still wouldn’t have even touched her parental issues with Michael and Dina, you know? But then again, I’ve watched 13 seasons of Intervention, and if they can manage to clean up decades-long heroin addicts, I guess there’s always hope for Miss LiLo.
With that being said, though, Lindsay went out partying straight after Letterman. *sigh* The Lindsay Lohan saga continues…
Photos from Dlisted.
- Ke$ha sets the record straight about the whole Die Young thing. Ugh, whatever. [GossipCop]
- MiLo says he will ‘cry from the mountain tops until [he is] heard’ and Lindsay gets help. Hahahahahaha. [ONTD!]
- Look at all these people whose faces are surely red now that the world is still around, after they all gathered at some Mayan temple. [TMZ]
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame is coming out of Disney’s vault next. [ONTD!]
- Emma Watson is a new ad campaign for Lancome. [PITNB]
- Rihanna is celebrating the holidays getting drunk by herself on a beach in Barbados. [TheSuperficial]
- Vinnie Jones to play M in Elementary. [ONTD!]
- James Franco and Seth Rogen fact the apocalypse in This is the End teaser. [GossipCop]
- All the viral videos of 2012 in one. [PITNB]
- The 10 funniest episodes of 2012. [ONTD!]
- Any of you give a shit about Miss Universe? Find out who won here. [GossipCop]
- Jerry Seinfeld explains his jokewriting process in great detail. [HuffingtonPost]
- The Backstreet Boys sing It’s Christmas Time Again and As Long As You Love Me on Jimmy Fallon. [PITNB]
- Ben Affleck dropped out of filming Focus with Kristen homewrecker Stewart. Bet J-Garn had something to do with that. [GossipCop]
- Xtina to perform and receive the ‘people’s voice’ award at the People’s Choice Awards in 2013. [ONTD!]
- Photos from Blake and Ryan’s wedding, kind of. [PITNB]
- Aubrey Plaza shares a nude portrait on Conan. [GossipCop]
- The top 21 YouTube videos of 2012. [Heavy]
- Gaga sent a gift to Daniel Borowy, a victim of another school shooting that was not Sandy Hook. [GossipCop]
- There’s a new trailer for The Great Gatsby that just makes me more and more excited for it to be released finally. [GossipCop]
- The Pitch Perfect 2 rumours have started. Yes, please! [ONTD!]
- A Ukranian politican called Mila Kunis a ‘zhydovka’, which means ‘dirty jewess’. Lovely. [GossipCop]
- Melissa Etheridge and her ex Tammy Lynn Michaels (the bitchy girl of 00′s teen show Popular) are still fighting about money. [Celebitchy]
- Lindsay Lohan refused to kiss Charlie Sheen because ‘his mouth grossed her out’… because she’s the Virgin Mary. [TMZ]
- Ashton finally filed for divorce from Demi. Watch that turn into wedding rumours with Mila in 3.2 seconds. [GossipCop]
- I will never stop laughing. Courtney Stodden and her momma think Courts is ‘a victim of her own beauty.’ Click the link just to see the accompanying photo. [ONTD!]
- My girl Rebel Wilson will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards next year. Can’t wait. Watch the first promo at the link. [GossipCop]
- 31 photos of animals wearing fashionable scarves. [SocialiteLife]
- Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears’ 2012 year in style. [ONTD!]
- Twilight voted the worst movie of all time. [WorstPreviews]
- There’s gonna be a Game of Thrones beer. [PITNB]
- The top 8 shocking celeb couple moments of 2012.[PopSugar]
- Compliance star Ann Dowd starts her own Oscar campaign. [ONTD!]
- Celebs react to the world not ending, Shane West acts like a ‘pretentious ass-kissing Swingtown twit’ about it. That’s a line from Get Over It about his character so it doesn’t really fit, except for the part about him being pretentious. [GossipCop]
- Watch this video of a baby panda with a ball. [SocialiteLife]
- The Enquirer says Daniel Radcliffe is definitely boozing hard, headed to rehab. [Celebitchy]
- I cannot deal with the Breezy and RiRi engagement rumour. Fuck no. [ONTD!]
- Madonna had a huge diva fit at her fans for smoking at her concert and threatened to cancel the show. Because she doesn’t agree with smoking, remember? [GossipCop]
- What the fuck kind of outfit is that, Katie Holmes? [GoFugYourself]
- Things no-one ever asked for: A Modern Family nail polish collection. What? [ONTD!]
- The best celebrity weddings of 2012. [PopSugar]
- The Jersey Shore kids crying about their paycheck for being drunk ending. [GossipCop]
- The Walking Dead renewed for season 4. [ONTD!]
- Kelsey and Camille have finally settled their divorce. [TMZ]
- The 10 best end of the world twitter confessions. [SocialiteLife]
- This montage of Britney’s best faces on The X Factor is amazing. [GossipCop]
- Does it make me a bad Britney stan if this GoFugYourself post made me laugh out loud? [GoFugYourself]
- The Oscar nomination foreign film shortlist. [ONTD!]
- 12 Celebs who were ‘not drunk’ in 2012. [TheFrisky]
- Some stuff about Amy Poehler, Jenny Slate and her upcoming P&R appearance as Jean-Ralphio’s twin sister, there might be another ‘Treat Yo’ Self’ episode (please!).
- Celebrities come together to rally against gun violence in a new PSA. [GossipCop]
- Michelle Obama writes a letter to Newtown. [PITNB]
- Victoria Jackson on Newtown shooting comments: “I don’t regret anything”. [ONTD!]
- Lil Wayne says he regrets his 2007 gun charge in the wake of Newtown. [Idolator]
- Celebs tweet about the NRA conference. [ONTD!]
Remember when these two were a couple and everything was just one drug fuelled disaster after another? Well, things aren’t that different now (although it’s been awhile since Charlie Sheen held a knife to someones throat, hasn’t it?), and in the spirit of saving time, I thought I’d just combine their stories for the day.
Okay, Brooke first.
Brooke Mueller is back in rehab for the 19th time, which kind of puts Lindsay Lohan in perspective, or gives you a glimpse of a future post I will write about LiLo. Probably the latter. Here’s where it gets interesting. Instead of leaving her kids with their dad Charlie Sheen, she handballed them over to Charlie’s previous wife, Denise Richards. Apparently this is the second time she’s done this. Denise must be a pretty good sport because if it was me in her shoes I’d be all kinds of ‘what the fuck are you thinking?’
Now, Brooke was placed on one year of probation for a previous drug charge, and one of her probation conditions was that she remain sober, and she recently failed a drug test when alcohol and adderall came up in her system, so she’s probably pulling a ‘get into rehab to avoid jail’ stunt. Whatever, no surprises there.
Charlie, meanwhile, recently donated $75,000 to a young girl battling cancer, which is somewhat surprising because I always just assumed he spent all his money on hookers, drugs and fedoras, but apparently he hands out money all the time. In this case:
Sheen was recently chatting with a Hermosa Beach police officer and learned about a cop whose 10-year-old daughter Jasmine had been diagnosed with Childhood Rhabdomyosarcoma, a type of cancer that affects the muscle tissue.
The next day he donated $75,000 to a fund her parents had set up for her.
We know he gave LiLo $100,000 to help her pay off her taxes, which he’s kind of pissy about now because she didn’t say thank you, not even by text message, which is pretty fucked up but not overwhelmingly surprising since she’s all caught up being the groupie of the century right now. Apparently back in July he also donated $1 million to a US military aid organisation. While it’s nice to hear about this kind of thing for a change, it’s also a bit like ‘but you still shot Kelly Preston in the arm that time and you definitely held a knife to Brooke’s throat as well.’ But hey, baby steps, right?
So that’s four criminal charges and banks accounts seized by the IRS, for those of you keeping up with LiLo’s comeback year.
Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. Whatever will we do with you?
So after having four criminal charges dropped on her in one day, Lindsay was all like ‘hell no I don’t need rehab, I just did three movies back to back, motherrrrrfuuuuckerrrrrrs!’ even though various reports have stated that homegirl drinks up to two litres of vodka a day. Apparently she’s totally against going to rehab now as a way to avoid jail time, which to me reads as a headline like ‘Lindsay Lohan gagging for jail time!’ because I really don’t see this ending any other way.
To add to her legal woes, the IRS just seized all of LiLo’s bank accounts, and I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping all her credit card statements get released because I’m a nosey bitch and I want to see how many trips she’s making to the liquor store a week.
Lindsay owes $233,904 in unpaid back taxes from 2009-2010, which Charlie Sheen wrote her a check for $100,000 to help her out with while they were filming Scary Movie 5. Let’s be honest, she probably spent it all on vodka, but even with ol’ Tiger Blood’s donation, apparently it didn’t do much to get the IRS off her back because she also has an undisclosed amount of back taxes owing from 2011, also. Of course she did.
This is what I don’t understand, and I know I’ve said it before, but seriously, how hard is it to follow the letter of the law? I just don’t understand it. I’ve never found it hard to get my taxes done. Annoying? *Britney Spears on the X-Factor voice* Absolutely, yes. Tedious? Completely. But difficult? Not particularly. Especially when she’s obviously got the money to pay for someone to figure that shit out for her. I have to sit at home in my pyjamas with a stack of receipts and my reading glasses going ‘What?! No, I don’t own a farm! What the fuck even are these questions?!’ … I suppose I don’t actually have to sit in my pyjamas, but I mean… if you have the option to be wearing pyjamas, why wouldn’t you? It’s far more comfortable.
Point is, behave like an actual person, Lindsay. Stop being ridiculous and get your shit together.
LiLo fired her assistant for bailing her out of jail. Maybe that makes sense when you drink two litres of vodka a day.
A natural progression of events, right? Your assistant comes to bail you out of prison after you punch a woman in the face, and then in front of a zillion paparazzi, you scream at him to get out of your car? Amazing. You can watch the dramatic video below:
My favourite part is when he’s like ‘Okay. Never speak to me again.’
Since the arrest, Tiffany, the girl LiLo punched in the face, has lawyered up, so I guess we can prepare ourselves for some drama over the next few days. (Something to look forward to!). TMZ is also reporting that Linds has been hitting the bottle hard of late, guzzling up to two litres of vodka a day. That’s fucked. Like, Intervention-worthy fucked.
Did you guys ever see that episode of Intervention where that guy whose name I can’t remember drank like a gallon (3.78 litres) of vodka a day, and then he’d have to be hospitalised like every other week? They took him in and he was lying in his bed while the doctors explained to him that the very next drink he had could be the one that killed him, because his liver was completely fucked, and he’s like ‘yeah, uh huh, I know.’ As soon as the doctors left the room he got up, walked across the room to the hand sanitizer and was like ‘it’s like 90% alcohol,’ pumped a bunch of it into a cup, added some water, and was like ‘see? It’s like a latte,’ and drank it. It was one of the more fucked up episodes, particularly given that the alcoholic episodes are generally less horrifying than the drug addicts, cutters and like, the girl who would throw up into zip lock bags and hide them. Gross.
My points are:
1) Intervention is a fantastic series.
2) Lindsay Lohan is going to end up making hand sanitizer lattes in the hospital if someone doesn’t force her to get help.
This is so annoying because I feel like I’ve said all of this before. I like Lindsay. I make fun of her because she makes ridiculous life choices, but I genuinely want her to get help and be better. Like most people, I love a good comeback story. When I watched MTV’s special about Amber Portwood from Teen Mom being in prison, I got all excited because it seems like she’s doing well, and it makes me happy even though I’ve spent the last however many years yelling at my computer screen and calling her a fucked bitch.
At the same time, though, we’ve all been down the ‘Lindsay Lohan goes to rehab’ route before, and as Dr Phil says: ‘the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.’ As badly as I want Lindsay to get help, she really hasn’t done anything to make me believe that this time will be any different from alllllllll those other times where she directs the cab to drop her off at the clubs on her way home from rehab. Therefore, I kind of think that maybe it’s time for Lindsay to go do hard time, because I don’t see her learning any other way.
I guess we’ll see how this all plays out over the next few weeks. Check back soon!
Any excuse to post Michael Lohan in his mesh shirt.
Before we get started, let me just give my dear friend Mark a shout out for keeping me up to date on Dina and Michael Lohan’s blogworthy behaviour.
Okay, so as we know, Amanda Bynes was caught driving with a suspended license earlier this week, and while her car was impounded, she wasn’t arrested. Fellow child star turned trainwreck LiLo isn’t too happy about this, and you know what? I kind of agree with her. She tweeted:
Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?
What Lindsay has failed to realise is that Amanda has been charged and is scheduled to appear in court, and is facing jail time is she’s convicted, but yeah. The fact that she didn’t get her ass arrested when she was caught driving with a suspended license after two hit and runs and a DUI is pretty fucked, and I think if I was in Lindsay’s position I’d be super pissed, too. But Miss Lilo might just be lashing out because she’s got enough on her plate for this week.
Her parents, Michael ‘I kicked my girlfriend in the vagina one time’ Lohan and Dina ‘I’m the white Oprah but I make out with my daughter when we get drunk together’ Lohan are duking it out on Dr. Phil this week.
Of. Course. They. Are.
I love these two because they’re even bigger trainwrecks than all the party girls combined. On the other hand, I feel incredibly sorry for Lindsay because when you learn even the basics about her parents it answers every question you ever had about why Lindsay is the way she is, and it’s so unfortunate for her.
Okay, let’s get into it.
Dina Lohan went to Dr Phil with the intent, I suppose, to defend herself against the accusations of the public that she’s basically the worst mother of all time ever. Good old Michael Lohan, never one to skip an opportunity to get in the media to talk shit about whoever he’s mad at that day, sent in a whole pile of questions for Dr Phil to ask Dina. Of course.
This is how shit played out.
Dina Lohan was about as sober as Lisa Robin Kelly in this interview:
Here’s the trailer for the show:
Okay, so you can watch all the clips from the show here, and listen to Dina say the following bizarre things:
- ‘I feel like we’re on a date,’ to Dr Phil as he asks her about her relationship with Michael.
- ‘I’m certainly being scrutinised by, you know, “you people”–the media.’ Dina’s response to Dr Phil accusing her of being fake and giving her ‘soundbite buzz words that [she] doesn’t know the meaning of.’
- ‘[laughing] You’re like, in your little tie, with your little shoes.’ to Dr Phil, who asks for clarification to which she replies ‘do the math, it’s on video.’
- ‘You’re mad at me so I have to.’ – Dina’s response to Dr Phil asking her if she wants to answer Michael’s questions.
- ‘If [Lindsay] was living in New York five of those would be obsolete.’ – On Lindsay’s series of trainwrecks since 2005.
At one point, she goes to high five Dr Phil, and he leaves her hanging.
Then comes my favourite part, where Michael Lohan comes in via satellite, Dr Phil shows him Dina’s answers to his questions, and he watches, wide-eyed and cracking up the entire time. When Phil asks him what he thinks of Dina’s answers, he says ‘was she drinking before the interview?’ and laughs, and Dr Phil says ‘I wasn’t with her so I don’t know,’ with a smile that says ‘Probably, yeah.’
Basically what I’m saying is:
1) Dr Phil’s not even pretending to be a psychologist anymore and has completely sold out, but I’m so fine with it.
2) Dina Lohan is a terrible liar and in this interview she reminds me of Lisa Robin Kelly and Kim from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
3) Michael Lohan is a much better liar than Dina, but he also might be a sociopath.
4) Lindsay never had a chance in hell with these two idiots raising her.
So while Katy’s been off making out with the guitarist from Florence and the Machine at Coachella, Russell Brand has been visiting Parliament, pleading for drug addicts to be treated with “love and compassion.” That’s the short version, so you should just watch the videos below because aside from the fact that I’m a bit in love with Russell Brand, they’re really interesting:
The two best clips are on the BBC’s website, and of course, you can’t embed them, so if you’re interested, you can click here and here to watch them. And you should, because you can actually hear what he’s trying to say, as opposed to a string of quips and jokes badly edited together like the second video up there.
Well… not exactly, but this blog’s not called PopCultureFacts for a reason. Mostly because it would be super boring, but also because it doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, and also because I can’t make drug references with the acronym PCF.
Anyway, let’s get to it. Demi Lovato’s done an interview with a British magazine called Fabulous (which in itself I think is fantastic. What a great title.) and reportedly addressed the rumours about drug and alcohol abuse that have followed her around since she went into rehab for depression and self-harm, as well as eating disorders bulimia and anorexia. She’s quoted in the magazine as saying:
Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs. They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. Being a celebrity can be dangerous… nobody says ‘no’. That’s why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me.
She goes on to say that she’s doing a lot better now, and although she doesn’t claim to be ‘fixed’ and still slips up every now and then, she’s happy and has a more positive outlook on life.
I like Demi, personally. I’m not the hugest fan of her work, given that ballads aren’t really my jam (although I’ll admit to getting down to Skyscraper a couple of times), and full disclosure, I watched Princess Protection Program the other day with her and Selena, and it’s not nearly as awesome as some of the other tween films I’ve seen (like, say, New York Minute or The Lizzie McGuire Movie). But I like her. She seems like a sweetheart, and I so badly want to watch the MTV documentary about her but I can’t find anywhere to watch it online (this is me saying “if you know where I can watch it online then leave me a comment and tell me, please!!”). But yeah, good on her for getting her shit together. That’s basically what I’m thinking about this.
This story is like the trainwreck that keeps on going. I can’t look away, and I don’t even want to anymore. Wait. Let’s be honest. I never wanted to look away.
So we all have to say a big thank you to ABC News for sitting down with LRK for an interview, which of course they won’t let me embed, but trust me when I say you absolutely must watch it. Seriously. Click here right now. TMZ’s version is below, but you’ll miss the part where the reporters all talk about her, which you should definitely watch too.
I’m kind of at a loss for words about this. On the one hand, I feel genuinely sorry for her because she’s clearly a mess, on the other hand, she says some things in the interview that don’t sound like things a sober person would say, to put it nicely, and a big part of me wants to pick the whole interview apart. So let’s run through it, play by play, and you can read my response to it:
- There are so many clips of her from That 70′s Show, and I’m pretty sure that’s to remind people of who she is. It’s great promotion for FOX’s reunion special that’s coming up, because I’m not even kidding when I say these clips reminded me of why I used to love this show.
- ‘Alongside young stars like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis.’ Hahaha, suck it, Topher. Don’t get me wrong, because I love Topher Grace, but what I love even more than him is the fact that he definitely thought he was too good for the show, left, and essentially, that was the last we heard of him. Even being in a film with Scarlett Johansson didn’t help.
- Her ex-boyfriend looks like a porn-gangster. You know how Lana Del Rey goes around calling her style ‘gangster Nancy Sinatra’? Like that, but with porn instead of Nancy Sinatra. And he’s doing ducklips and it’s totally strange.
- Okay, here’s LRK. Shit. She looks old. And strung out. And crazy.
- ‘That doesn’t look like me, that’s not me.’ Ergh… it’s sad because it absolutely looks like her, whether she wants to accept it or not. She’s stumbling over her words. Definitely not sober, I’ve watched enough interviews with Lindsay Lohan to know.
- ‘People are being pretty brutal online, about this mugshot. Saying that you’re on drugs.’ Oh, shit. She’s talking about me. To be fair, though… look at her in the interview… she’s totally on drugs. It’s like that time when LiLo was on Oprah talking about how the media just blows everything out of proportion and most of the time she’s just hanging out at home, but she had red wine stains all over her mouth.
- ‘This is all a bunch of …(don’t say bullshit, don’t say bullshit, don’t swear. Sober people don’t swear. Think of some other words) made up… stuff.’
- We’ve finally learnt that he’s her ex-boyfriend. Not her husband, or her roommate. It’s weird that they’re showing home movies of him.
- ABC News decided to talk over the part where she clarifies what ‘roughed up’ meant. I genuinely want to know what she said, so I hope this is one of those interviews that they drag out for days.
- Okay, I feel bad for her that she lost a baby. That’s awful for her. I’m not touching that.
- ‘With the 70′s show, I was guilty of the drinking problem, and I ran. But I’m not running from this.’ See… she got fired, so that’s not really running, more being pushed. And it’s difficult to run from legal problems… just ask LiLo.
- I feel bad for her when she says ‘If I can make it through this, I can make it through ANYTHING!’ because she seems so… I don’t even know what. Vulnerable, hopeful, beaten down… just trainwreck-y.
- ‘Lisa says she’s been sober for about three months now and is excited to be starring in a new movie called “It Sucks to Be Me”.’ Ohhhh, Lisa. That’s not a pretty colour on anyone, let alone a forty something year old woman who’s up on domestic violence charges.