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Posts tagged ‘drug addiction’

So let’s talk about how Lamar Odom is a crackhead.

Reports have been swirling that the marriage of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom is in “crisis” (TMZ’s word choice. Divas.) and it’s not because he’s been fucking other chicks, but rather, because he’s been heavily addicted to crack for the last two years.

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Lindsay Lohan states the obvious, says that sending her to rehab is “pointless” in a new interview.

I kind of love that Lindsay didn’t have time to check out the fine print of either Seafield or Morningside before she was due to check in, basically, but she had time to do a long-ass, sit-down interview with Piers Morgan. That is some classic Lohan-logic, right there.

Anyway, let’s run through the interview bit by ridiculous bit, and then have a moment of silence for what will probably be the last we hear from La Lohan for a little while.

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I’m pretty sure Lindsay Lohan has mind control powers, because she managed to get Shawn Holley and the Betty Ford Center to take her back. Oh, and Dina’s been talking.

‘Can’t repeat the past? Why, of course you can!’

LiLo pulled a Jay Gatsby and in 24 hours got Shawn Holley and the Betty Ford Center to take her back. Say what you will about Lindsay, but she is a fucking miracle worker when she wants to be, you guys.

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LiLo has 12 hours to check in to rehab or she’s off to the slammer, and Michael Lohan’s been talking again.

As always, LiLo has managed to take the seemingly simple task of checking into rehab on May 2 for 90 days, and turn it into a massive drama.

So okay, we’ve already discussed how she was supposed to check into Seafield in NYC, but then they wouldn’t allow her cigs, so she chose Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach in Cal-i-foooooooooor-nyaaaaaaaaaaa (that’s The OC theme song again). Well, this is what MiLo has to say about Morningside:

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Jenelle Evans got arrested for heroin possession and assault.

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I’m just going to file this one under ‘things that were bound to happen eventually’.

Okay, so apparently Jenelle decided to get back together with Courtland at some point and I either missed it or considered it irrelevant since none of her relationships last more an a couple of weeks at a time, even if they’re legally married.

The cops rocked up to her house to answer a domestic dispute, and after breaking up the fight, found a shit-ton of drugs.

Let’s start with the assault. Cops say that Jenelle hit Courtland with a piece of furniture, which sounds like some WWE shit to me (but real). They arrested Courtland for assault, too. Allegedly, he assaulted her by

“hitting her on the neck and striking her with a closed fist on her head.”

Ugh. I can’t deal with Jenelle and all her domestic disputes, you guys. I really hate everything about it, because it makes me feel like a shitty person for not feeling sorry for her. But I don’t. She plays the victim on ‘Teen Mom 2′ like ‘oh, Gary hit me so I left him and it’s done for good. LOLOLOL WE’RE BACK TOGETHER,’ but it’s just not that simple.

Okay, I’m not saying that it’s fine for these douchebags to beat the shit out of Jenelle because I don’t like her and she’s a liar, so don’t get me wrong. But Jenelle has way more responsibility in this situation that she ever accepts. Choosing the wrong guys, for example.

She’s claimed domestic violence against Kieffer, Gary, and Courtland (is that even it because I’m not even sure), who had all been arrested prior to meeting Jenelle. Maybe don’t choose criminals and junkies to be your boo. Everyone deserves a second chance, sure, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that looking for someone to get high with and looking for someone who can help you get your life on track and get back custody of the son you sometimes pretend to give a shit about are not compatible life goals.

Aside from that, I’ve seen ‘Teen Mom 2′. Jenelle has started her fair share of fights over the years (let’s be honest, it’s way more than her fair share), so I don’t buy for a second that Jenelle was just calmly sitting around, eloquently explaining why she was upset, when Gary or whoever suddenly tried to choke her with a bedspread, you know? I guess what I’m saying is that domestic violence can happen to anyone, yes, but when you’ve claimed domestic violence on three boyfriends in a row, maybe it’s time to look at your life and think ‘where am I going wrong that this happens to me over and over again?’ because it’s pretty easy to figure out, really.

OMG we got way off track there, didn’t we? Ugh. Okay, let’s move on to the drugs.

According to TMZ, cops found 12 bindles of heroin on Jenelle, and

was also found be illegally in possession of Percocet (a prescription painkiller) … as well as plastic wrapping paper and a glass smoking pipe, which is considered illegal drug paraphernalia.

They also found heroin on Courtland, but both Jenelle and Courtland denied possession of the heroin, which is why they both got charged with possession with the intent to manufacture, distribute and sell.

Oh, and if you’re like me and didn’t know what a ‘bindle‘ was, they’re those little plastic baggies that the junkies get their drugs in on ‘Intervention’.

Finally, after getting arrested, the cops also charged her with failure to pay her child support to her mother. Probably because she spent all her money on heroin.

Well, add these to your collection of ‘Teen Mom’ mugshots. Jenelle will have enough for a calendar soon enough:

 

 

Related posts:

If you’re wondering if Jenelle Evans is dumb enough to let her “friends” film her snorting drugs, the answer is yes. Yes, she is.

Jenelle’s out of rehab (again), getting in fights on Twitter (again). Same old, same old.

PCP Polls – Beyonce at the Super Bowl, Britney in Vegas, Jenelle’s pregnancy. Have your say!

Faking a pregnancy and miscarriage is only a good idea when you’re a fictional character on a soap opera and you need to convince your family to accept your sister’s rapist as your soulmate. It doesn’t work when you’re a trainwreck on a reality show, Jenelle.

Jenelle Evans may have caused MTV to cancel ‘Teen Mom 2′.

LiLo got her claws out on Letterman and despite my better judgement I somehow still like her?

 

Aw, Lindsay. Look how much she just loves that spotlight.

Okay, so Lindsay made an appearance on David Letterman to promote her public image ‘Scary Movie 5′, but of course, Letterman just asked her a whole bunch of questions about rehab, because he’s David Letterman and making starlets squirm is like his favourite pastime.

I’ve got two options for you, the whole interview or just the promo clip, for those of you who can’t handle looking at her inflated trout pout for 14 minutes.

 

 

So I had two fairly different reactions after watching the promo clip versus the whole interview. I saw the promo last night, and it was just… you know… more of the same shit that I’ve watched Lindsay spew every time she’s been in trouble over the last 8 or 9 years, but with an acerbic edge to her voice that reminded me of the time her ex-BFF Paris Hilton got drilled by Letterman about her jail time.

 

2007. The golden era, right?

 

Okay, so then this morning, I watched the whole interview, and you guuuuuuys, I don’t know how Lindsay does it, but there’s something about her that just makes me want to believe her and want good things for her. I know, I know! It’s absurd, right?! Like how many times am I going to let her play me?

Despite my better judgement, that sees that I’m just falling for Lindsay’s ‘see how likeable I am because I’m making fun of my situation?’ there’s this part of me that’s like ‘aw, I hope she manages to get her shit together this time.’ It’s completely ridiculous, because when I actually think about how many obstacles are between the current version of Lindsay Lohan and the well-adjusted, happy, functioning adult version of Lindsay Lohan, it doesn’t seem likely that 3 months would even scratch the surface of her addiction problems, let alone the denial of said addictions. Even if they somehow managed to tackle those problems, there would still be the fame/drama/chaos addiction that she seems to deal with, and they still wouldn’t have even touched her parental issues with Michael and Dina, you know? But then again, I’ve watched 13 seasons of Intervention, and if they can manage to clean up decades-long heroin addicts, I guess there’s always hope for Miss LiLo.

With that being said, though, Lindsay went out partying straight after Letterman. *sigh* The Lindsay Lohan saga continues…

 

Photos from Dlisted.

Related posts:

Carrie, The Bling Ring, The Great Gatsby, The Purge, and more. A mega ‘MOVIES COMING SOON’ post.

Trainwreck tidbits from the last few days: Lindsay and Amanda watch 2K13.

Lindsay’s doing all her favourite activities before rehab: stealing and clubbing.

So Amanda Bynes says she has an ‘eating disorder’ NOT a ‘mental illness’.

Amanda Bynes is still saying that it’s not her with the red hair. Except that it is.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 28, 2013.

 

First and foremost, a big shoutout to my darling Alicia, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL! And it IS EVEN your birthday:

 

- Lindsay has a new boyfriend, apparently. Either he’s kind of suicidal or he’s not had the Internet for the last decade, right? Also, LiLo is adamant that if she has to miss her birthday she’s not going to miss Coachella, too. Fight for your right to party, girl. As it is, she might not be going into rehab anyway because as it turns out, lockdown rehab isn’t a thing, so she might end up in jail for 90 days instead of house arrest for 30 days. LOL. And finally, she’s being accused of being a homewrecker, too. [TMZ, Celebitchy, TMZ, Dlisted]

- Gucci Mane jailed on assault charges. [Idolator]

- Watch the trailer for Ke$ha’s ‘Crazy Beautiful Life’. [ONTD!]

- Channing Tatum wants to bang George Clooney. Get in line, buddy. Actually, nah, come with. [PITNB]

- JB’s neighbour says that JB spit in his face, JB is denying it. Also, apparently he is a ‘vehicular terror’ in his neighbourhood. [TMZTMZ, TMZ]

- Lana Del Rey’s Chelsea Hotel no 2. [ONTD!]

- Selena Gomez has ‘knee demons’. [BuzzFeed]

- Finally someone’s on my wavelength. Will ‘Gatsby’ bring us what we’ve all been waiting for: A good Leonardo DiCaprio love scene? Also there’s a new TV spot for the film at the end. [LaineyGossip]

- James Franco and Ashley Benson have released another weird hotel room spoof video, this time it’s to Selena Gomez’ ‘Love You Like A Love Song’. [GossipCop]

- Kirsten Dunst says that kissing Brad Pitt was ‘disgusting’. [WorstPreviews]

- 10 things to know about Harmony Korine. [ONTD!]

- Catelynn and Tyler are going to be on reality show ‘Couples Therapy’, along with Chingy and some other washed up celebs. [TMZ]

- Clive Mantle from ‘Game of Thrones’ had his fucking ear bitten off of his head at a hotel. What is it with all these ear stories this week, for real. [IDLYITW]

- The original ‘Skins’ cast: Where are they now? [BuzzFeed]

- Behind the scenes of the first day of the ‘Veronica Mars’ kickstarter project. [ONTD!]

- Madonna is now a billionaire. [PITNB]

- The absolute geekiest ‘Game of Thrones’ merchandise. [Flavorwire]

- Celebs you probably didn’t realise were the same age. [BuzzFeed]

- Sean Penn’s son got into a fight with a paparazzo, called him a f***ot and a n***er. Lovely. [TMZ]

- Check out the creepy as shit poster for ‘The Conjuring’ from James Wan (‘Saw’, ‘Insidious’). [WorstPreviews]

- Selena Gomez will perform at the MTV Movie Awards. [ONTD!]

- The wisest things Michael Scott ever said. [BuzzFeed]

Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 26 + 27, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 25, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 24, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 23, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 22, 2013.

Habitual liar Lindsay Lohan says she didn’t go out clubbing after being sentenced to 90-days lockdown rehab, soooo obviously she did. Plus, check out the new mugshot!

0319-lindsay-lohan-booking-tmz-3

I think I have a new favourite Lindsay mugshot, y’all. Her expression is just great. Like ‘yep, here we are… again. Fuckers.’

So here’s what’s gone down since LiLo got sentenced.

Version #1:

0319-lindsay-lohan-backseat-1

Allegedly, this is LiLo, hiding from the paparazzi as she hits the clubs before heading to rehab. Or, attempted to, anyway. This shot was taken outside the AV club in Hollywood, where she hid under a blanket, but was unable to shake the paps, so she never made it inside the club.

Version #2:

Lindsay heard the rumours, and tweeted the following:

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 11.18.14 AM Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 11.18.31 AM Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 11.18.42 AM

Now, keeping in mind that the entire reason LiLo has been sentenced to lockdown rehabilitation is because she lied to the cops and has a record of doing so in the past, which version do we believe? Was LiLo trying to have her one last hurrah at the AV club, or was she sitting in her hotel room eating sushi?

As for why Lindsay finally agreed to the plea deal, it’s exactly what you think. She’s terrified of going to jail and realised far too late in the game that her lawyer was a fucking moron. If you’ll remember correctly, the prosecutors offered her 30 days of house arrest, which she turned down. Upon realising that her dumbass lawyer was going to get her thrown in the slammer, she took the plea because rehab was the less scary choice. Apparently she’s still adamant that she does not have a substance abuse problem. Ohhh, LiLo.

Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 19, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 18, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 17, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 16, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: March 15, 2013.

Charlie Sheen can save LiLo, so says Charlie Sheen.

reg_1024.LindsayLohan.CharlieSheen.jlc.092012

 

I don’t know who I think is more delusional, Charlie or Lindsay.

So after giving Lindsay $100,000 to help her with her ridiculous tax debt and not being thanked for it until he bitched about it to the media, Charlie proves to us once again that he’s equally as stupid as her by saying that he wants to mentor her. This is what he told TMZ:

“I have a kinship with somebody [Lindsay] who clearly needs a mentor, whether she wants one or not. She can continue to hang out with her dress shredding club buddies, or turn to me for some advice from a guy who’s been down the road as well as every other side trail on the journey.”

“If she listens, she’ll win. If she doesn’t, that’s on her.”

Shockingly, Charlie still claims they’ve never hooked up, “I love her, I respect her, and I’ve never laid a finger on her that wasn’t on film. How ya like me now, America?”

Okay, I love that he called her friends ‘dress shredding club buddies’ because not only does that reveal that he’s online reading about what Lindsay is up to but also that he’s CHARLIE FUCKING SHEEN and he’s disapproving of it. Charlie Sheen, you guys. You know your life is in shambles when even Charlie Sheen is like ‘this bitch needs help’.

I also love that he’s still trying to make ‘win’ happen. It happened, and now it’s over. Let’s all move on. Besides, I would argue that getting $100,000 dollars out of a guy who by his own admission isn’t even being paid in sexual favours is already ‘winning’.

The Chronicles of Lindsay Lohan is my favourite saga. God I hope we get to hear more about how he plans on helping her.

 

Related posts:

Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer is so incompetent that she may actually end up in jail this time.

Don’t lend your clothes to Lindsay Lohan, a lesson from someone who had to learn the hard way.

You guys, Michael Lohan is writing a book.

LiLo rushed to LA as soon as she realised that her lawyer is an idiot.

PCP Polls: Was Lindsay sick? Are you team Frank Ocean or team Chris Brown?

Jenelle’s out of rehab (again), getting in fights on Twitter (again). Same old, same old.

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Sometimes I feel like if Jenelle stopped being insane there would be terrible, butterfly-effect style consequences for the rest of the world. Like her being a batshit insane drug-addled psychopath is so much the norm at this stage that if she stopped, the rest of the world’s balance would be sent reeling from the withdrawals.

Anyway, so she’s out of rehab again, and to be honest I must’ve dropped the ball on that one because I don’t recall hearing that she went back into rehab, but it’s whatevs because she’s out again anyway.

Obviously, Jenelle’s first move post-rehab was to get back on Twitter and pick some fights, because her addiction to ridiculous drama is even stronger than her heroin addiction. Like I’m one to talk, though. I’m the one who watches this shit play out on ‘Teen Mom 2′ even though I don’t particularly like any of the girls on the show (except Leah and Chelsea, and even then they both regularly make decisions that make me groan with disapproval).

So the quick refresher, for context, is this: Jenelle was engaged to Gary Head. They broke up and she filed assault charges against him. At some point Kieffer was in there and he got her onto heroin. She got back with Gary, and then they broke up again. Apparently they were still friends. She hooked up with Courtland Rogers. They dated for a hot minute, fought, broke up, got back together etc until one day they got married at the courthouse and celebrated at the Olive Garden, because nothing says ‘best day of your life’ like a reasonably priced, mediocre dinner from your favourite chain restaurant. Then she “got pregnant”, although as the quotations imply there was much debate about whether she was actually knocked up or not, especially when she proceeded to live-tweet her miscarriage. Oh, that was after she live-tweeted the fight with Courtland that ended their blissful one month marriage. She went shopping with Gary the day she “miscarried” and was totes excited to get out of the hospital and play some PS3. Oh and she filed assault charges against Courtland as well because that’s Jenelle’s favourite way to end a relationship, even if she plans on getting back together with them. Because she’s batshit.

Anyway, I think that gets you up to speed. So apparently Jenelle and Gary started dating again, which I somehow missed but am completely unsurprised by, but it doesn’t matter because they’re over again anyway. Post-rehab, Jenelle made her first priority to get on Twitter and tell Gary what a piece of shit he was, saying:

“dude STFU u r such a piece of shit telling me how faithful u were going to stay while I’m gone.”

“Case closed, u r being kicked out and I’m cutting off yr phone now that I PAY FOR lmao get a job dude hahaha.”

Honestly, I’m all for the ‘trophy wife who doesn’t have to work’ thing that it appears Gary’s been doing to Jenelle, but realistically, dating Jenelle would be more stressful than most full-time jobs, and therefore not worth the free phone and accommodation.

Anyway, after that she tweeted a photo of herself smiling with the caption ‘I’M FREEEE!’

Yeah, we’ll see how long this lasts. What do you think? Will she get back with Gary or Courtland next? Will Kieffer make his much anticipated return? A new guy, perhaps? Ah, the anticipation of it all.

 

Related posts:

PCP Polls – Beyonce at the Super Bowl, Britney in Vegas, Jenelle’s pregnancy. Have your say!

Faking a pregnancy and miscarriage is only a good idea when you’re a fictional character on a soap opera and you need to convince your family to accept your sister’s rapist as your soulmate. It doesn’t work when you’re a trainwreck on a reality show, Jenelle.

Jenelle Evans may have caused MTV to cancel ‘Teen Mom 2′.

Okay, let’s talk about how Jenelle live-tweeted the miscarriage of her potentially fake pregnancy.

Jenelle Evans is getting divorced. Probably for real this time.

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