Hahahahaha. See what I did there? I. Am. So. Funny.
Okay, so you guys remember back in 2009 when Courtney Love lost custody of her then seventeen year old? I remember thinking to myself, ‘wow, how bad a mother do you have to be in order to lose custody when you’ve only got half a year until they become an adult?’
Well, lucky for me, the court documents with all the grizzly details got released yesterday, and let me tell you, they’re a doozy. I’m not gonna waste anymore of your time, let’s get to the good shit, yeah?
Frances Bean Cobain accused her mother Courtney Love of causing the death of their family pets in a newly revealed testimony. The 19-year-old filed a restraining order against Love in LA superior court in December 2009 after they got into a physical fight. Backed by evidence from her male nanny and others the judge granted her request, as well as ordering the Hole singer stay away from her daughter’s pet dog Uncle Fester. And in sworn testimony uncovered by The Fix, Frances claimed her mother lived on drugs, was a conspiracy theorist and said the singer’s hoarding caused the death of their family cat and dog. In addition, she accused her mother of taking her to a confrontation at her ex-boyfriend James Barber’s house.
She said: ‘(Love) has taken drugs for as long as I can remember. She basically exists now on…Xanax, Adderall, Sonata and Abilify, sugar and cigarettes. She rarely eats… She often falls asleep in her bed while she is smoking, and I am constantly worried that she will start a fire (which she has done at least three times) that will threaten our lives.’ And Frances said her mother’s chaotic behaviour was the reason for the death of two family pets. She said her cat died after getting entangled in piles of Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash and other possessions, while a dog died allegedly after swallowing a pile of Love’s pills.
Let’s just take a little breather there to say what the fuck, shall we? And also, when you talk about pets dying as a result of hoarding, all I can think about is that episode of Hoarders where that CUNT Augustine lost at least two cats, and then when they were digging through her lounge room found them flattened under the mess. She was the worst person ever. I wish I could find you that episode but it seems to have disappeared from YouTube for the time being. Instead, I’m going to show you this guy, who’s just as fucking bad, if not worse. Of course, it won’t embed, so you’ll have to click here to see the episode where they pull 13 dead cats from this fucker’s house. You really should watch Hoarders. It’s insane, infuriating and everything in between. Here’s what Kathy Griffin has to say about it:
Let’s move on.
But there was plenty of other instances that had reportedly driven the aspiring artist to despair. In one incident she said her mother dragged her to James Barber’s house when she was 17, and that she sat in a taxi while her mother had a volcanic confrontation with her then boyfriend. She said: ‘She took me in a taxi to his house in the middle of the night, and from outside the house, in her bare feet, she screamed at him, threw rocks at the house, and threatened to burn his house down. His children were inside the house, but that did not stop my mother.’
Finally, she also slammed her mother’s constant claims of people stealing money from them. Frances said: ‘My mother is obsessed with uncovering fraud and spends much of her day raging about the fraud that has been perpetrated on her and on me. She incessantly rages about her many theories relating to the supposed incidences of “fraud.” She slams doors, breaks things, stomps around the hotel or apartment and spends hours on the phone, yelling.’ And she told the court Love had even threatened to jump off a balcony while she was watching. Ultimately Courtney was ordered to stay away from Frances, Uncle Fester, her paternal grandmother Wendy O’Connor and aunt Kimberly Cobain.
The latter pair were made temporary co-guardians.
Courtney sounds like a legit whack job, and while I feel bad for poor Frances for having to put up with that shit, the stuff about fraud made me laugh. A lot. Can you picture that? Courtney Love, dressed up as Sherlock Holmes (why not?), magnifying glass and all, running around her hoarder house, muttering to herself about fraud. That’s hilarious. And I mean, honestly, who knows what she’s thinking? Maybe she was just trying to inspire Frances: