Posts tagged ‘TMZ’

Lessons learnt via Farrah Abraham: Don’t trust fame-thirsty porn stars to keep your secrets.

You know… If I was ever in a position where I thought that it would be a smart career move to make a porno and pass it off as a sex tape to raise my public profile again after my reality TV show was cancelled, you know what I wouldn’t do? Hire one of the most high profile, well known porn stars to co-star in it with me.

I honestly don’t know what Farrah was thinking here, and I spend a more than acceptable amount of time focused on trying to understand the actions of Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan. Like, I know the names of exactly two porn stars. One of them is Sasha Grey, because she’s pretty high profile, what with being in ‘Entourage’ and ‘The Girlfriend Experience‘ and because of that time she went to read to kids at an elementary school. The other is James Deen, because he’s totally fame-thirsty and currently starring in ‘The Canyons’, a low-budget indie flick with La Lohan that was, as all things concerning Lindsay, packed full of chaos and drama.

It’s not that I thought that Farrah was smart, necessarily, but I’ve really learnt a lot about just how stupid she is in the past week. I didn’t realise it was possible to be in your twenties and to have never encountered the word ‘elaborate’ in your life. I mean, that could just be my ‘Dawson’s Creek’ upbringing throwing me off, but whatever. And then the logic, or profound lack thereof, behind leaking a sex tape with a seasoned porn star?! Like how delusional do you have to be to think that’s a plan that will work?! I just can’t even, you guys.

Okay, so here’s how shit’s played out since the last time I posted about this. TMZ tracked down James Deen, and spoke to him about it. You can watch that video here. This is how it went:

TMZ: Okay, so you just recently starred in this new tape with Farrah Abraham. How’d it go, man? What’s actually in this tape?

James Deen: I am… I’ve been requested by the company that commissioned this tape to not divulge very much information. Sooo, it’s one of those, I think they wanna do… I think what happened… I don’t know what happened, but I *think* what happened is that they were going to pass it off as like, a sex tape, and then somebody saw us, um, you know, coming out of a building together, and then they were like “Hey! What the hell’s going on?” and then people asked me and I have this problem where I can’t really lie, so I was like “We’re making a porno! [laughs] What do you think is going on?”

TMZ: [Laughs] “What do you think I do for a living?”

JD: Yeah, exactly. So now, apparently, there’s been a lot of phone calls, and stuff, throughout the day, ‘coz I guess, I don’t… I honestly don’t know… Everybody’s got their story.

TMZ: So divulge as much as you can…

JD: Essentially what happened this morning, is it seemed like her people gave a statement, and then some other people gave a statement, and then I said what happened, and then like, it was this weird moment where everybody had too much information, and they were like “Oh my God! We actually know what’s going on! We don’t have like, a story, we have the information, this is interesting!” so now, I guess, everybody’s trying to make it this story, but really, I mean, it’s… she wanted to make a sex tape, or something. I don’t even know…

TMZ: Did she seek you out?

JD: I don’t know. I know what I’m told, and like I said, I was requested to not divulge information from the people that, you know… but [shrugs and giggles].

TMZ: So moving on, is there maybe any potential for a follow up scene?

JD: If she wants, I mean, it’s up to her… I mean, I feel like a lot of your questions are going to be questions for her, like, you know? Like, “what does this scene have?” well, ask her. “Did you enjoy the scene?” ask her. “Is there going to be another scene?” ask her. I mean, I would do another scene with her, I thought she was great!

TMZ: You thought she was fantastic.

JD: Yeah, I thought she was fantastic.

So on the one hand, how incredibly thirsty. Like “Oh, I can’t talk about it, so here’s EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.” On the other hand, I love that even he’s like ‘Yeahhhh, I don’t know why she thought she could make a porno, with a porn star, at a porn studio, and pass it off as a sex tape, either.’

According to TMZ, Farrah is now admitting that she made the porno with him, but is saying that it was ‘for her personal scrapbook’. I may never stop laughing at that. You know what’s good for scrapbooks? Photos of you with family and friends, so then you can all look back on them together and reminisce about the good times. Can you imagine? “Sooooo-feeee-uhhhh, look at the time mommy got rammed by a porn staaaaaar!” … A proud moment for the whole Abraham clan, right?

Now that everybody knows about her personal-use porno, though, she’s willing to sell it. Obviously that wasn’t the plan all along, you guys. Excuse me while I put my eyes back into my skull, as I just rolled them so hard they fell out of their sockets.

Because Farrah is a virtuous woman of values, and, according to her mother, religious beliefs, however, she’s refusing to sell the porno for anything less than $2 million. Am I the only one who thinks she’s vastly overestimating the public’s interest in seeing her plastic bod get rammed for half an hour by a porn star? Her lawyer is currently dealing with a porn company over distribution rights, and she’s hella pissed with James Deen for letting the cat out of the bag, saying that

“If [her] ex-boyfriend Derek were alive, [she] would’ve rather it had been him with [her].”

Hmm. Oh okay then.

Well, that’s all for now, but I’m sure this saga will continue to unfold over the next few days, so check back regularly!

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