‘You’re doing it wrong,’ says Leonardo DiCaprio, coming up for air from his 3 month, cross-continental muff-diving exploration of all the supermodel pussy he can get to while on hiatus from work.
Posts tagged ‘Victoria’s Secret’
So last year, Adam Levine got dumped by Victoria’s Secret model Anne V, avoided getting trapped into a marriage with stage 10 clinger Jennifer Love Hewitt, and joined Leonardo DiCaprio’s prestigious pussy posse when he started dating Behati Prinsloo (which remains one of my favourite blog posts that I’ve written to date).
Good morning, my pop culture boos, how about a little ‘wardrobe malfunction’ to kick off the morning. I use quotations because when you see the NSFW photos, you’ll see that these photos are far less ‘OMG my top came down’ and far more ‘soooo, these are my breasts… ‘. Think that scene in ‘Friends’ where Phoebe tries to seduce Chandler, but without the bra on:
- Brooke Mueller is at war with Charlie over the twins and her mother took the kids back from Denise Richards. [TMZ]
- Drew Barrymore has teamed up with Wal Mart to peddle some cheap cosmetics to the masses. [ONTD!]
- Kristen Stewart’s latest red carpet disaster. [Dlisted]
- Celeb babies born in 2012. [PopSugar]
- Madonna MDNA tour was 2012′s highest grossing tour, Gaga’s Born This Way Ball was #6. [Idolator]
- 20 dated celebrity endorsements from over a decade ago. [BuzzFeed]
- 100 Gifts for 100 cultural icons. [FlavorWire]
- Some more clips from Django Unchained that I’m not going to watch because I want to wait until the film is released. [ONTD!]
- A LeAnn Rimes nip slip. Ew. [GossipCop]
- Neon signs from NYC. More interesting than it sounds. [CollectorsWeekly]
- Rejected posters for Kubrick’s The Shining. [BuzzFeed]
- Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel in a bikini. [PopSugar]
- An article that blames the financial crisis for Gossip Girl jumping the shark. I think it’s more likely that it was the awful turn the writing took, but hey, each to their own. [ONTD!]
- Hospital criticism may have triggered Jacintha Saldanha’s suicide. Well, yeah. That’s kind of a given, right? [TMZ]
- MK Olsen making out with her old boyfriend court side, again. [PopSugar]
- Kate Moss in a Vogue Spain shoot. [PITNB]
- 27 INCREDIBLE GIFs that are so totally Raven. [BuzzFeed]
- Breaking Abbey, Stephen Colbert’s Breaking Bad/Downton Abbey spoof. [GossipCop]
- Rooney Mara looks like Rooney Mara. [GoFugYourself]
- The girl with cancer who Charlie Sheen donated $75k to says thank you (and that she doesn’t watch his show). [TMZ]
- In case you’re into Michael Pitt, click here. [ONTD!]
- Justin Bieber talks about his Grammy snub. [GossipCop]
- Emily, this one’s for you. Bad Girls Club stars Camilla (season 8) and Natalie (season 4) boxing each other at a strip club. [TMZ]
- There’s a new Russian real-life Barbie doll. She’s just as scary as the Ukranian one, who is her ‘spiritual sister’. Mmm, okay then. [BuzzFeed]
- Gwyneth Paltrow shoving marshmallows into her face. [GossipCop]
- Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann talk about This is 40. [PopSugar]
- Oopsie! You said ‘restore’ this 18th century French chateau, not ‘demolish’? Are you sure? Either way, it’s gone. [Time]
- Marilyn Manson got 24 stitches after getting into a fight that almost Van Goghed his ear. [TMZ]
- Amanda Seyfried talking to TMZ about Anne Hathaway’s vag slip: ‘I’m a fan of underwear, it keeps me warm.’ LOL. [TheSuperficial]
- A man was arrested for trespassing on Taylor Swift’s property in Nashville. [GossipCop]
- 60 moments that made me tear up on the train while looking at photos of Seattle’s first day of marriage equality. [BuzzFeed]
My loves. Apologies for the delay in PCP’s ‘stories’ post of the day, you know how it is. Work and all. Tell your friends about PCP so that someday I can just hang out and do this all day for allay’all. xoxo
- Anne Hathaway says that all the attention her crotch is getting is ‘sad.’ [ONTD!]
- Child services investigates Brooke Mueller’s home. [TMZ]
- Lena Dunham’s leaked book proposal proves what we already knew about her. She’s an arrogant, pretentious egomaniac. [ONTD!]
- The 12 best EP’s from 2012. [Idolator]
- Ew. Watch Snooki give birth. #ThingsthatshouldneverhavebeenfilmedbecauseEW. [GossipCop]
- 17 horrific diets of yore. [BuzzFeed]
- Ariel Winter’s dad now controls her estate, but Shanelle will continue to have custody of her younger sister. [TMZ]
- Oh, God. Avril Lavigne covers Nickelback’s How You Remind Me. We should’ve seen this coming, shouldn’t we? [PITNB]
- Kristen Stewart on Craig Ferguson. [ONTD!]
- Jennifer Lawrence named the Most Desirable Woman of 2013. [GossipCop]
- Animals in holiday sweaters. It’s exactly what it sounds like. [BuzzFeed]
- Judd Apatow talks about his marriage to Leslie Mann. [HuffingtonPost]
- The SAG nominations are out. They should call them the SAD nominations because that’s how I feel when Leo’s not on the nominations list. :((( [ONTD!]
- Justin Bieber, Honey Boo Boo and Whitney Houston dominate 2012 Google searches. [GossipCop]
- Courtney Love is not a fan of Sir Paul replacing Kurt Cobain in Nirvana for the 12-12-12 benefit concert. [TMZ]
- Brandi Glanville says that Adrienne used a surrogate. Boom. Can’t wait to see this play out. Team Brandi. [ONTD!]
- You will still get caught if you fill up your fake titties with cocaine. That shit shows up. [Heavy]
- 15 reasons to let The Mindy Project into your heart. I have a 16th reason that is just me yelling at you about how amazing I think Mindy Kaling is. She is my spirit animal. [BuzzFeed]
- Florence Welch stopped her concert to break up a fight. [GossipCop]
- Leonardo DiCaprio, Olivia Wilde and Jamie Foxx at a screening of Django Unchained. [SocialiteLife]
- Fox and Imagine TV have ordered ‘another two to five’ episodes of Arrested Development season 4, bring the total episode count to as many as 15. [ONTD!]
- Celeb holiday TwitPics. [TooFab]
- The worst tweets of 2012. [BuzzFeed]
- The Victoria’s Secret Angels blooper reel from their Deck the Halls video. [GossipCop]
- Haylor being cute in England. [ONTD!]
- Morrissey behaving like a royal twat. [Dlisted]
- RZA reviews Django Unchained via Twitter and ughhhhh I can’t wait anymore. [ONTD!]
- Gabriel Aubry won’t be charged over the Thanksgiving fight where Oliver Martinez almost beat his face off. [TMZ]
- Crystal Harris, Hefner’s fiancee (again) shows off her new (read: second, for the second engagement) ring and LOL as if Hugh Hefner knows how to work Twitter. Motherfucker’s OLD. [PITNB]
- Miley Cyrus devastated by dog Lila’s death. [GossipCop]
- Meanwhile, Liam got into a bar fight on the streets of Philly. [TMZ]
- So apparently t.A.T.u are back. [ONTD!]
- A convicted killer planned to murder and castrate Justin Bieber. [TMZ]
- The poster and trailer for The Haunting in Connecticut 2: The Ghosts of Georgia are out. [ONTD!]
- Anne Hathaway and Jimmy Fallon sing mad libs Christmas carols. [GossipCop]
- Watch Swifty explain the ‘edgy’ concept behind her video for I Knew You Were Trouble. [Idolator]
- T Swizzle’s album Red goes triple platinum in under a month. [ONTD!]
- More photos of the Spice Girls (with Victoria) at Viva Forever the musical. [GossipCop]
- Nick Cannon says that he and Mariah bang while they’re listening to her songs. I don’t know about you but this doesn’t surprise me even a tiny bit. I bet she has butterfly confetti drop from the ceiling afterwards. [TMZ]
- Emma Stone and her mum at JFK. [ONTD!]
It’s that time of year again?! Is it just me or has this year just flown by? Anyway, I adore the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Shows, I think they’re fantastic and I’m always amazed by how much they can do with so little fabric. I haven’t seen the show yet, though. For anyone who has, was Leo there picking out a new girlfriend from the line-up? Was Adam Levine there for Behati? Tell me the goss!
Anyway, the performances. First up we have Rihanna, performing Diamonds and Phresh Out the Runway:
A couple of things about Phresh Out the Runway:
1) While I can see the appeal of performing it on an actual catwalk, this is a ridiculous song choice because they have to bleep half of it and the other half is basically unintelligible. Like, 1:20-26 is basically silent because of the lyrics:
‘My niggas gon’ be like “bitch, it’s my fuckin’ song!”‘
2) The part at 2:36 where she walks backwards across the stage made me laugh until I cried because it looks like she’s just some random person who’s managed to get up on stage and is soaking up their three seconds of fame.
Next up is Justin Bieber doing Beauty and a Beat and As Long As You Love Me:
I love Rih but this kind of blows her performances out of the water because he’s not just standing there eye-fucking all the VS models. Well. He is, and he actually looks pretty overwhelmed by all the pretty girls at some parts… but he does choreography, and that’s what makes the performance.
This is basically a carbon copy of the AMAs performance, which I’ve already said that I loved. I have nothing else to add.
And finally, Bruno Mars performing Young Girls and Locked Out of Heaven:
I don’t care enough about Bruno Mars to watch these. I’ll see them when I watch the whole show.
- Britney’s Fantasy Twist commercial is probably my favourite thing she’s done this year. [PITNB]
- Kat Von D split with Deadmau5 and behaved like a teenager about in on Twitter. [GossipCop]
- Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis got lunch. [PopSugar]
- The best celeb twit pics of the week. [TooFab]
- Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel do damage control after the homeless video at their wedding, hand out supplies to Sandy victims. [GossipCop]
- Halle Berry lost her custody battle, can’t move her daughter to France. [TMZ]
- Alicia Keys has a new single called Brand New Me, it’s far less irritating than Girl on Fire. [PITNB]
- Justin Bieber donates a portion of concert proceeds to Sandy relief. [GossipCop]
- Pics from the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. [PopSugar]
- Lana Del Rey talks about her vagina, explains the ‘my pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola’ lyric. [Idolator]
- Miley Cyrus is ‘already married in [her] heart and mind’ to Liam Hemsworth. [GossipCop]
- Come on, Marky Mark, you can do better than Transformers 4. [WorstPreviews]
- Graffiti artist Manny Castro Jr won’t serve time for graffiti stating that homophobic Chick-Fil-A ‘tastes like hate’. [TMZ]
- Willow and Oz are reunited on How I Met Your Mother! [PITNB]
- Rihanna performs Diamonds on SNL. [GossipCop]
The Britney and Justin of their generation are over.
Apparently Selena broke up with him last week after almost two years of dating because she felt she couldn’t trust him.
JB reacted by throwing himself at Victoria’s Secret models at their recent show, asking models for their numbers and pretending he stood a chance with them even though they’re older than him and can choose between Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Levine and Zac Efron. Well, good luck to him. Give him a couple of years and I’m sure Leo will let him in the club.
Honestly, I don’t have a lot to say about this. They were a cute couple but it’s not like they were going to be together forever at their age. It’s whatever, they’ll move on, you know? It’ll be interesting to see who they date next, though.
Just a white dress or do you think maybe she’s a closet member of the KKK?
The most ridiculous drama to hit the Internet for awhile happened yesterday. Basically, Gwyneth Paltrow tweeted this photo of her onstage at the Jay-Z/Kanye concert in Paris:
and she captioned it
Ni**as in paris for real
The entire Internet lost their collective mind, saying that the ‘for real’ part implied that she wasn’t referring to the song, but to the rappers themselves.
Firstly, I’m just going to throw this out there: When I picture Gwyneth Paltrow in her everyday life, I picture her living the closest possible reality to the life of a Disney princess. Reading, singing, dancing and twirling around her mansion, cooking, and of course, talking to birds and small woodland creatures in her garden. That’s legitimately how I feel she lives her life. Therefore, the idea of her being at a Jay-Z/Kanye concert makes me laugh in itself.
Honestly though, it’s entirely clear she was referring to the song and not being like ‘The darndest thing just happened to me in Paris. Look at this photo; you’ll see I’ve come across some niggas,’ and the fact that Jay and Kanye performed the hit 11 times during the concert… well, I think it’s safe to say that she’s probably not a huge racist.
Also, if you haven’t seen the Bitches in Bookshops version (and you like to read) you should probably go ahead and watch this:
You see that smoulder? That’s the look that says ‘watch out, Victoria’s Secret models, because I’m going to fuck the shit out of you, one after the other.’
Adam Levine is basically the new Leonardo DiCaprio, and I’m not just saying that because I’ve recently developed a crush on him as well as my undying, eternal love for Leo. After being dumped by his Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend Anne V via press release, and then having to explain to the world that he wasn’t looking to purchase one of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s pre-picked engagement rings, Adam Levine is dating again. Who’s he dating, you ask? It’s another Victoria’s Secret model, obviously. Her name is Behati Prinsloo, and here’s some pictures of them together while on vacation in Hawaii:
And since you can’t reaaaally tell what she looks like, here she is on the VS catwalk:
Adam’s done well, she’s prettier than Anne V, in my opinion.
Point is, he’s just become a serial Victoria’s Secret model dater, which is kind of Leo’s thing. And when I say ‘kind of’ what I mean is ‘he hasn’t dated anyone who wasn’t a model in years with the exception of Blake Lively, who I figure was a She’s All That early scenes kind of deal.’ Don’t worry, though, there’s plenty of VS models to go round, so maybe between the two of them they can get through them all by Christmas? If not, they can always recruit Zac Efron to help them out. The following is how I imagine their conversation went:
Adam: ‘Leo, man! It’s good to see you, I haven’t seen you since our last meeting of VS model fuckers anon! What’s been going on?’
Leo: ‘Shit, dude, people were on my back about always fucking models, right? So I thought I’d try to prove to myself that I don’t have to date models. I tried going with that gossip chick, Blake or whatever. It just wasn’t the same, man. I couldn’t handle it. I got out and I’ve run through like 10 or so lingerie models since then to cleanse that shit out of my system.’
Zac: ‘Wait, what? So you’re telling me that you guys only fuck lingerie models?’
Leo: ‘Yes. Absolutely. You know I was in Titanic, right? All those bitches were like 11 when that shit came out, so now I don’t have to do anything and they just come to me. It’s awesome.’
Adam: ‘I’m not going to lie to you, man. Once you fuck a VS model… it’s like crack. Trust me, go for it, it’ll make that Disney bitch you were runnin’ with for so long seem like… well, you know in American Horror Story how there’s that old bitch who looks like a hot slut to dudes? It’ll make her seem like the old bitch in comparison. Also, I’m going to be on season two of that shit.’
Leo: ‘Adam, tell him what the experience is like for the first time.’
Zac: ‘Wow, yeah… please do.’
Adam: ‘It’s like they’ve got magic vaginas, man. I was sure my head was going to explode from the sheer pleasure of it all.’
Leo: ‘Seriously, though, Zac. This is definitely something you should consider. I see a lot of myself in you, and what I’m seeing is untapped potential for you to be fucking hotties like you wouldn’t believe. They don’t even need to speak the same language as you, that’s the beauty of being famous.’
Zac: ‘Wow. You’ve really opened my eyes, Leo. I’m definitely going to fuck some models ASAP.’
Leo: ‘Good man. Now be quiet and watch the game.’