How’s LiLo’s comeback going, you ask? Let’s review.
Well, let’s catch up with LiLo for a minute, yeah? The last time I wrote about her, she was gearing up for her big comeback, so let’s see how things have gone for her since then:
Well, she was on SNL, and similar to Lana Del Rey, got less than stellar reviews, although she was a huge ratings success (she came in first against whatever else was on that night). I don’t have videos for you, but from what I’ve seen, she seemed nervous. As one highly quoted Twitter user put it:
This may be the first time Lindsay Lohan had trouble doing lines.
It’s a shame, because as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge fan of her first two episodes.
Here’s some photos from the show:
So after that, she was pretty quiet for a little bit, staying out of trouble, all that. She dyed her hair back to it’s original colour, and the internet flipped out and assumed that this is how Lindsay Lohan says ‘Hello, world. Please take me seriously. Look, it’s my natural hair colour! My firecrotch is back, bitches!’ And that seems like a good segue into this amaaaaaaazing video:
You need to watch that video if only to hear Paris laugh like a drunk psychopath when Brendan Davis says that Lindsay Lohan’s vagina ‘shits out freckles’. That’s what I was talking about yesterday. She’s a nasty bitch, but she’s certainly not pretending to be anything other than exactly who she is. Also, I fucking miss the days when TMZ and X17 would have videos like this every single day because all of Hollywood was batshit insane and/or shitwrecked 24/7.
Anyway, yeah. Shit was quiet, pretty boring really. Now, you know that ‘quiet’ in Lindsayland just means that it’s the calm before the storm, right? That girl is not capable of flying under the radar, and I don’t think she’d want to if she could.
You know what she did, right? She hit someone with her car. Or not. The details aren’t really clear, so here’s both sides:
So on the ‘Lindsay hit someone with her car and sped the fuck off side’, this is the story: She was trying to do a U-Turn:
Not like this. In her car.
Allegedly, she lightly hit into the knee of the manager of the nearby Hookah Lounge as she was leaving. The police rocked up but the dude wasn’t injured, so they didn’t file a report, but the uninjured man went to the hospital and plans to press charges anyway.
Lindsay’s version is basically that it just didn’t happen. She called it ‘a complete lie’ and tweeted:
Last night, I attempted to wish a friend happy birthday, which I didn’t even get to do because I was freaked out by all of the paparazzi. These false accusations are absurd.
To my knowledge, no charges have been filed yet, so it’s looking like she’s not headed back to jail just yet.
To breeze through the rest of it, TMZ said that she had decided to place herself under ‘self-imposed house arrest,’ which is basically just… staying indoors, until after her parole ends on March 29, but then she went out that night (of course she did) so I guess not. Oh, and there was some story about how she paid a male prostitute to have sex with her while Daddy Lohan was asleep downstairs, but so far that’s just something you read in NW and forget about because it’s probably not true.
And that brings us up to date, I believe. I’m still holding out hope for her comeback, but let’s hold off on judgement until whatever her next project is comes out.