So you know how they’re remaking Carrie? Well, they’ve offered the role of Margaret White, Carrie’s mother, to Julianne Moore.
Personally, I love Julianne Moore, and I think she’d be amazing as the insane, fanatic Margaret White. Assuming she signs on to do the film, I think the combination of Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore will be enough to ensure that it’s a good remake. I love the original, and I’d go see the remake regardless, but the fact that I love both of these bitches makes me really excited for this.
Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie both got nominated for Oscars for these roles when the original film was released in the 70’s, so hopefully Chloe and Julianne will live up to the expectations that I and all the other fans of the original have. I’m not particularly worried, Julianne’s amazing in everything (except maybe Evolution, which I haven’t seen.) and Chloe is fast becoming one of my favourite tween actresses.
You know, generally when I hear the name ‘Jimmy Kimmel’ what I think is ‘oh, that’s the show where Britney was really funny that time,’ but as it turns out, he’s got some decent ideas about the Kardashians. When I say ‘decent ideas’, what I mean is that he had the balls to roast her in front of the world, and that’s awesome in my book.
You can watch the speech below, if you just want to see the Kardashian part then skip ahead to 5:20:
Apparently some people were all ‘he went too far!’ but personally, I don’t think he went far enough. It’s not like he made any American-dream-sex-tape-famous jokes, which are always right there when it comes to Kim. He didn’t touch her marriage. It could’ve been a lot meaner, is what I’m saying. I would’ve loved it, but as it is, I think still think it’s pretty fantastic, mostly because I also think it’s accurate.
Meanwhile, here’s what people were wearing at the dinner:
Five years after Knocked Up comes the ‘sort-of’ sequel that sees Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann reprise their roles for a brand new dramedy. Watch the trailer below:
I’m a huge fan of Paul Rudd (even if he just does his Paul Rudd thing in every single movie ever) and I like Leslie Mann, too. And since it doesn’t look like Katherine Heigl’s going to make any appearances and shit all over this with her bullshit, it looks decent. The supporting cast having Jason Segel and Melissa McCarthy is a huge plus, too.
What do you guys think, are you excited for This is 40?
Basically she’s replacing Camille Grammer, who’s not returning for season 3. I feel like I’m okay with it. Brandi’s fun, and in the season 2 reunion she was the only one who wasn’t down with ganging up on Lisa for absolutely no reason. I also like her because she hates Kim almost as much as I do.
Anyway… there’s not much of a story here, the title pretty much covered everything. We’re done here.
If what you’re thinking is ‘who the fuck are The Wanted?’ I’ll just let you know that they’re basically the I Dream of Jeannie to One Direction’s Bewitched. The Charmed to One Direction’s Buffy. The 98 Degrees to One Direction’s Backstreet Boys. Basically… they’re the lesser known, less popular version of One Direction, is what I’m saying. I don’t think I’ve heard any of their songs, but I’ve kind of heard of them.
Apparently they’re trying to break the American market at the moment, and went on The Voice to do some song, and Xtina, SURPRISE, was a total cunt to them. Well, they said bitch… but that’s probably just because they were on the radio, and also if you’re in a boy band you probably shouldn’t be dropping C-Bombs unless you want to cause havoc in schoolyards everywhere. Here’s the clip:
The point is, how is there anyone left in the world who doesn’t know that Christina Aguilera is a bitch? I feel like pretty much anytime something is printed about her there’s mention of her fierce diva antics, or she’s being all ‘if bitch means strong independent woman then, yes, I’m a bitch.’
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t care that she’s a bitch, at all. It doesn’t affect the fact that Back To Basics is one of my favourite albums of all time. It also doesn’t affect the fact that Vanity might just be the worst pop song I’ve ever heard in my life. Seriously. But if you’re aware of pop culture on any level (and not in denial like the Christina Aguilera stan who called me an ugly ho last time I wrote about her) then you know that she’s massive, massive bitch. I mean, I know I spend more time than the average person reading tabloids and celebrity news, but I feel as though people who just casually know things about celebrities know exactly what she’s like, so you’d think that if you were in the same industry as her, that you’d have an idea of what you were getting into. Whatever.
Here’s what I consider to be the worst pop song of all time. I know I’ve posted it before, but it’s actually so bad that I can’t even deal with it.
First up, I love Chloe. She’s fierce. Blake I could give or take, but it’s whatever. Rory Culkin is a good dude, and I don’t have the vocabulary to describe to you how happy it makes me that Juliette Lewis just keeps doing these filthy, disgusting roles. Here she is in The Basketball Diaries, 17 years ago:
But seriously though. This movie is legitimately just a new version of Freeway. The trailer does not do justice to how incredible this film is, but you should watch it anyway. If you haven’t seen it, watch it immediately. It’s a modern day version of Little Red Riding Hood, it’s so fucked. I love it so much.
But yeah. It’s the same, right? White trash girl is pissed off, with a gun, and the whole world owes her. I love it, I’m into it, I’m going to see it. Who’s with me?
It’s actually ridiculous that he seems to think he can just talk this down like it was nothing. He tries to play the victim because ‘you invite someone into your home and they tape you,’ and complains about not being able to let off steam in his own house. I’m actually laughing while I type this a little because I love that he thinks that it’s perfectly normal to invite guests over and then scream at them like… fuck, I don’t even know. That’s how fucked Mel Gibson’s anger problem is. I actually can’t even comprehend a situation that would justify being that angry. Or… I can, but I’m unwilling to type any of them out because they’re straight up fucked.
Basically, at the end of it he’s all ‘hahahahahaha, Oh, Jay… you know me. Silly Mel Gibson; I’ve got a bit of a temper!’ And Jay Leno was probably too scared to be like ‘You’re fucked, mate.’
Firstly, I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t really know either of their voices particularly well, but there are parts of this song where I couldn’t tell who was singing, for real. Does Brandy sound kind of mannish, or does Breezy sound kinda girly? Or is it both? I have no idea.
What else can I say? It’s not my favourite song, regardless of any other factors… it just sounds kind of… blah… to me. It’s no What About Us or The Boy is Mine:
1) Why don’t the judges ever pick The Boy is Mine for the battle rounds? I’d be so excited.
2) Remember that time Brandy was in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and then Jennifer Love Hewitt decided to have the lead single from the movie instead of giving it to Brandy, who’s an actual singer? That was awesome.
Adam just got dumped via press statement by Victoria’s Secret model Anne Vyalitsyna after being together for two years. If you don’t know who she is, take a look at them together on the Victoria’s Secret catwalk:
Honestly. I don’t think you go back to normal girls after you start fucking Victoria’s Secret models. Look at Leo. J. Love doesn’t stand a chance.
As happy as a straight man’s dick can get.
Anyway, I’m about to get distracted posting photos of shirtless Adam Levine, so let’s cut to Adam’s response:
Agressive. If ever there was a word to describe Jennifer Love Hewitt’s search for a husband, aggressive would be it. God, I hope Jennifer Love Hewitt responds.