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After the longest pregnancy of all time, Jessica Simpson finally had her baby.


See that? That’s probably pretty close to the pose she was in when she had the kid, except that there’s no way with the hugest baby ever in her that she could get her legs that close to her tits.


You see what I mean?

Anyway, after being pregnant for longer than Bonnie Swanson from Family Guy, Jessica Simpson finally had her kid.


Now, I imagine when this kid gets to school, it’s already going to have to deal with the somewhat embarrassing fact that it’s Jessica Simpson’s spawn, but on top of that, it’s going to be up against the fact that it’s name is Maxwell Drew Johnson, and oh, by the way, it’s a girl. As in, ‘Hi, this is my daughter Maxwell Drew.’

Maxwell Sheffield from The Nanny.


Drew Valentine from Dawson’s Creek.

That’s what pops into my mind when I hear those names together. Just so we’re all on the same page. Anyway, if you care, she’s (and I legitimately just typed ‘he’s’ and had to change it.) 9 lbs., 13 ounces and is 21 and 3⁄4 inches long. Jess’ statement below:

We are so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives!!

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  1. Adele is knocked up, y’all. «

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