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If anyone deserves to be glassed it’s Chris Brown.


Oh no, poor Chris Brown! He’s got a teensy cut on his chin, doesn’t your heart bleed for him?

Basically, Breezy and Drake were at W.i.P, a club in SoHo, and they got in a fight. A member of Drake’s entourage picked up a bottle and hit Breezy in the face. Honestly, I don’t want to condone violence, but I kind of think that if you’re going to hit anyone, Chris Brown’s a good choice because at any given moment he’s probably doing something to deserve it. All the time. I’m surprised he doesn’t get glassed more often the way he acts, seriously. Anyway, after the bottle hit Chris, it was a free-for-all fight that caused all kinds of fuckery. According to an eye witness, both sides were ditching glasses, bottles and metal ice containers at each other and a bunch of people nearby were struck in the process.

Hollie, a 24 year old Australian tourist who was at the club, copped a bottle to the head and needed 16 stitches:

Remind me not to go anywhere Chris Brown is while I’m in the States. I hope she has travel insurance for Chris Brown related violence.


Chris Brown’s bodyguard was also injured:


And this is what the club looked like after the fight:


This is retarded. For real. Especially when you take into consideration the fact that this whole brawl was allegedly over Rihanna. Like, what? Y’all know Rihanna’s fuckin’ wit’ all’a y’all, right? And didn’t you both release songs about how she’s a huge slut like a month ago? Yeah. You both did, Chris Brown and Drake. So why the fuck are you fighting over her?

Ugh. Idiots.

So basically, at least two people got serious head injuries, Chris Brown got one tiny cut, and then spent the rest of the fight tweeting, apparently:

If you’re wondering what you’re reading up there, it’s Chris Brown telling Drake’s entourage that they don’t know how to fight.


If you don’t remember, Chris Brown is really, really good at fighting:

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’

The detective said “Robyn F.” then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.

Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’ After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.

Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps (sic) that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.

Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.

Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.

Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.


Comparatively, Chris Brown’s tiny cut on his chin that could’ve just as easily come from a slip of the hand while shaving doesn’t seem so important, does it? Also, the fact that he tweeted that photo himself is just more of an indicator of the kind of self-indulgent cretin that he is. ‘Look! I got a boo boo!’ Go fuck yourself, Chris Brown, no one gives a shit. His rep released the following statement:

Chris, Karrueche and his friends were victims of a brutal attack last night at WIP.  They sustained several injuries. Chris and his party are cooperating with NY authorities who are pursuing this incident further.

Okay, I feel bad for the rest of them, but fuuuuuuuuuuuck. That. for Chris Brown’s little scratch to be called a ‘brutal attack’. Especially because judging from his past behaviour, he absolutely would’ve provoked it.

Anyway, fuck this whole situation. Team Drake. Next time his entourage goes after team Breezy I hope they do some fucking damage.

Violence is never okay, unless it’s against Chris Brown.

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. n1985 #

    OMFG!.. despite the fact I absolutely LOVE this blog post – Chris Brown is the utter definition of ‘Wasted Wank’

    June 15, 2012
  2. Wow! I’ve never read the details of R’s attack but recalled seeing a snip it of her photo after wards. I am just utterly sickened that celebrities get off easier but compared to most Woman in abusive relationships it sound like she got out early. That little s@$t deserves a bottle up his you know what…

    Anyway, great post regardless of contents.

    The girl photo above will prob. be cashing in a law suit…..

    June 15, 2012

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