PCP’s Favourite – Former child stars.
Hello, lovers. Happy Sunday. I hope you’re all suitably exhausted from some fabulous Saturday night antics. I know I sure as fuck am, so let’s all grab a coffee, something disgusting to eat, and a bucket full of water, and get stuck into another edition of PCP’s Favourite.
Last week was the conclusion of our favourite failed celebrity marriages series, so this week is the first edition of a new series which in my mind, I’m calling ‘famous kids,’ but honestly, I’m a little hungover, so if you can come up with something better, let me know. I’m sure if you’ve been keeping up to date here it’ll be no surprise that my girl Suri Cruise is absolutely the inspiration behind this entire series.
Today we’re looking at former child stars, and coming up we’ll have reality tv kids, celebrity children, and current child stars. Although the actress who played Veruca didn’t quite make the cut, Veruca Salt is my iconic, go-to gal for bratty children, and I’m not going to lie, she’s absolutely my favourite character in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I know, I know, you’re gobsmacked, right? Really, though, let’s just get to it, because I’m not fucking around when I say I need some junk food STAT.
05 Larisa Oleynik.
‘My best friend Ray thinks it cool… My sister Annie thinks I’m a science project… I can’t let ANYONE else know… not even my parents… I KNOW the chemical plant wants to find me, and turn me into some experiment… but you know something? I guess I’m not so average anymore.’
Okay, for real, you guys. Alex Mack was absolutely my favourite show back in the day, and it was also the first time I heard about telekinesis. I’m not even joking when I say that I used to think about telekinesis all the time because of this show. And then because of Charmed. And then because of Carrie. It’s seriously the best power, and yeah, I may have spent a decent amount of time really concentrating on things to try to get them to move. Don’t you judge me.
Anyway, although Larisa’s in here mostly because of my childhood obsession with Alex Mack, let’s not overlook the other gems in her young career, such as 10 Things I Hate About You, where she basically just steals every scene and totally makes ‘whelmed’ a word:
And she also played Dawn in The Babysitters Club movie, which is basically one of the greatest films of all time and it’s a goddamn travesty that it’s not currently on DVD in Australia.
Speaking of telekinesis, the girl who played Kristy in the BSC movie is Schuyler Fisk, Sissy Spacek’s daughter. CARRIE’S DAUGHTER.
Point is, Larisa made boring Dawn way less boring than she is in the books. In case you were wondering, I was all about Stacey and Claudia because they were into fashion, make-up, and boys.
04 Thora Birch.
I’m sure with how much I talk about my love for Now & Then that it’ll come as no surprise that 90% of the reason Thora is on this list is because Teeny is the shit. Seriously. I don’t even know what else to write because I feel like that basically sums it up. With that being said, 2% is because of Monkey Trouble:
And the remaining 8% is because of work she’s done as an adult, namely American Beauty (obviously), The Hole, and Ghost World. Oh, and she’s just done a TV movie called The Pregnancy Pact and since I am allllllll for anything with the words ‘based on the true story’ anywhere on the cover, that’s how I’ll be spending my afternoon.
03 Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
If they can have a joint star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame then they can have a joint spot on my list, too. If I had to pick it’d be MK, though. She seems like more fun, and she was on Weeds, which I loooooove.
So I’m going to lay down a truth bomb right now, okay? I’ve never seen an episode of Full House. Like ever. But that doesn’t stop me from having mad love for the Olsens, because I have seen basically every single one of their straight to DVD releases as well as that show So Little Time that they did when they were like 15ish. Oh, and I own their Playstation game where you go to the mall and have to like, work in a diner and put on a fashion show and shit. It’s heaps good. And I have a book called ‘Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Style Secrets!’ which is shit, and their coffee table book that came out a few years back called Influence, I think. I’m too lazy to get up and check, it’s on the other side of the room. But it’s good. Y’all get bonus points if you can tell me which one’s which in that picture.
02 Macaulay Culkin.
Can we just take a moment to look at how adorable Macaulay was? Actually the cutest kid ever.
Macaulay’s the only boy to make my list, and that’s basically because no other boy mattered when Mac was around. To state the obvious reasons for him being here: Home Alone. Home Alone 2. My Girl. Richie Rich. The Good Son. I could go on.
Aside from that, though? I still love Macaulay. I loved him in Saved!, I loved him in Party Monster, and I loved him in Will & Grace a whole lot, too. He can do what he wants and I’ll love him forever, is what I’m saying.
01 Christina Ricci.
Again, a big chunk of the reason Christina is on the list is because of Now & Then, but honestly, I just love her. I loved her when she was a kid, in the Addams Family films, and Casper, and that one she did with Anna Chlumsky from My Girl called Gold Diggers (where they actually go digging for gold in a mountain, not like, a film where 12 year old girls troll bars for rich dudes.):
As much, if not more than I loved her as a child, though, I loved her ‘I’m 18 finally I’m gonna show my titties!!!’ goth-Christina and everything that went along with that era. Special mentions go to Buffalo ’66, The Opposite of Sex, and 200 Cigarettes. You can watch an interview with her from around then below: