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Posts tagged ‘arrest’

So maybe Jason London was telling the truth after all?


So yesterday, I was pretty convinced that Jason London was a drunken mess who had picked a fight and shit in the backseat of a cop car, but today I’m not so sure. Looking at his injuries, it’s pretty clear that the bouncers did a lot more than evict him from the Martini Ranch bar while he was kicking and screaming about it. Jason currently has a right orbital fracture, a sinus fracture, multiple contusions, hematomas, abrasions and a concussion. They’re some pretty gruesome injuries. Meanwhile, check out London’s hands:

0130-jason-london-hands-wm-1 (1)


… Not a bruise in sight.

Jason’s rep says that Jason doesn’t remember the whole thing, but that a guy came up to him and accused him of makin’ eyes at his friend’s girl and then got physical with him. According to Jason, the next thing he remembers is being arrested, but not before the bouncers brutally attacked him.

His rep told TMZ:

“Jason’s injuries are consistent with a brutal attack with deliberately and expertly aimed landed shots to the head which, according to eyewitnesses, continued even after he was unconscious.”

The owner of Martini Ranch stands behind their security staff, saying:

“We feel confident that when the time comes between witnesses, police reports and our surveillance footage, that the truth will come out and show that the comments by Mr. London and his people are clearly inaccurate.”


This is the thing, though. I can kind of see how the bouncers would be lying. Say Jason was just being an asshole (like his wife said he was when he was drinking) and the security staff got (incredibly) carried away. I can see the security staff lying about the incident to cover their own asses. What I don’t understand is what good would come from the cops lying about how Jason behaved after he was arrested. That is, berating them, being like ‘I’m a fucking famous actor, look me up, bitch!’ and taking a shit in the back of the car. I don’t see what reason the cops would have to lie about that, you know? But Jason’s denying the whole thing. The way I see it, there’s two parts to this story. Jason vs the Martini Ranch security staff and Jason vs the cops. What do you guys think?



Related posts:

Turns out Jason London is just as insane as his twin Jeremy. He took a dump in a cop car.

PCP’s Favourite – Teen slashers.

‘The Choice’ might be the dumbest reality show idea ever. It’s not a typo.

If you guys see Nick Stahl anywhere call the cops, because he’s missing.

Jeremy London is the new Natasha Lyonne.

Turns out Jason London is just as insane as his twin Jeremy. He took a dump in a cop car.



First up, let me tell you that I nabbed this picture off a blog called ‘The Oracle with Jessica and Elizabeth‘, which actually made me grin from ear to ear because you guys know how obsessed I am with Sweet Valley High and all its spin-offs.

Now that’s out of the way, let me tell you why else I’m grinning, and that’s because there are so many late 90’s stars who are just such trainwrecks now. Jeremy London pretended he got kidnapped, Nick Stahl went missing, and then there was that time when Natasha Lyonne threatened to rape her neighbours dog, oh, and we’ll throw Lisa Robin Kelly in there, too. My favourite thing about it is that when they’re all washed up, these guys don’t fade away into oblivion, they come up with the most batshit way to generate some publicity and then disappear for ages, only to repeat the process. It’s fantastic. Seriously.

I should probably stop reminiscing about the good old days and tell you what’s happening right now, though, right? Okay, so first, here’s my new favourite mugshot of all time:



Here’s how this came to be. It was 2am (although I wish it had been 3am because something about the London brothers reminds me of Rob Thomas and I really just wanted to reference that), and the cops rocked up the the Martini Ranch Bar in Scottsdale, AZ after responding to a call about a man bleeding on the side of the street, and found Jason London hanging out with his black eye.

According to the bouncer, Jason was walking out and sneezed on him, the bouncer was like ‘yo man, apologise fo’ dat shit!’ (or at least, in my mind that’s what he said because the report isn’t as specific as I would’ve liked), and Jason was like ‘nah man, I sneeze where I want!’ and punched him in the face. The face that he just sneezed on, apparently. After that, the bouncers threw him out kicking and screaming and Jason got beaten up in the process. I’m picturing this as a more violent version of a child’s temper tantrum.

Paramedics came to treat his eye, but instead of being like ‘thank you for stopping the bleeding on my face, nice people on call at 2am,’ he started shoving them and the cops had to whack him in the knee to get him to sit the fuck down. Jason responded by calling one of the police officers a ‘fucking hillbilly’.

This is the part where shit gets insane.

The cops arrested him for disorderly conduct/fighting and assault, and on the way to the police station, this is what Jason was saying to them:

“Guess what fa**ot?  I fucking love this.  I fucking own you guys so hard.  I’m rich and I’m a motherfucking famous actor!  Fucking look me up, bitch.”

I’m not going to lie, I laughed out loud to myself at ‘fucking look me up, bitch.’ It’s even funnier because like, when was the last time you saw Jason London in anything? I can tell you the last film I saw him in at the cinemas was ‘The Rage: Carrie 2’ and I was 14. I remember because my dad had to come with my friend and I because we weren’t old enough to get in by ourselves. Point is, that was 13 years ago. But wait, there’s more.

“It smells like shit in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea.”

Hahahaha. He’s actually like twelve years old. Also I’m pretty sure that when you’re shitfaced and in the back of a cop car, you probably can’t smell anyone’s breath, especially when no one is facing in your direction. Just saying.

So then, the police report states that he leant to the left and SHIT HIMSELF. For fun. The report doesn’t specify that he did it for fun, but I can tell you, I’ve had some drunken nights in my life and it’s never crossed my mind to take a dump in a taxi. After that, he said:

“I told you I’m happy as shit.”

I may never stop laughing, you guys. He just sounds to happy with himself.

After that, the cops spoke to his wife Sofia, who said “I know he’s an asshole when he drinks,” and told them she spoke to him and he has no recollection of it. Shortly after that, Jason started tweeting about how it wasn’t true, but I would argue that if you have no recollection of it then you don’t know that it’s not true. Anyway, this is what he said, after describing the story as a “total fucking lie”:

“I got jumped by three 250 pound bouncers. They knocked me out and beat me for several minutes.”

“I would never say or do the crap they are reporting. Have faith in me. The truth will come out and you will see.”

“Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and had me jumped. My wife was in the next room, had no idea what even happened. I hate Arizona.”

Yeah, blame the state of Arizona. That will make you sound mature, as a 40 year old male who just took a dump in a cop car.

Stay tuned, I’m sure this won’t be the last of this story.


Related posts:

PCP’s Favourite – Teen slashers.

‘The Choice’ might be the dumbest reality show idea ever. It’s not a typo.

If you guys see Nick Stahl anywhere call the cops, because he’s missing.

Jeremy London is the new Natasha Lyonne.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 9, 2013.


– Watch Thomas Gibson get wrestled to the ground by 5 cops and then be like ‘I’m not resisting!’ [TMZ]

– Here’s a sneak peek at Nightline’s ‘Django Unchained’ interview with Quentin Tarantino, Jamie Foxx and my boy Leo. [ONTD!]

– HAYLOR are DONE. #NeverForget [GossipCop, ONTD!]

– Miley Cyrus says that #CutForBieber isn’t funny, nor is it something to joke about. I like her more and more. [TMZ]

– Mariah Carey on Nicki Minaj: ‘I didn’t know she sang, I thought she rapped, or whatever.’ [ONTD!]

– 36 of Jensen Ackles’ sexiest photos. Emily, this is for you. [SocialiteLife]

– Mary-Kate and Oliver Sarkozy have their strangest PDA yet. I’m not kidding, he’s pushing her head into his crotch and it’s ridiculous. I kind of like them as a couple because I find them interesting though? Is that weird? [ONTD!]

– Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds hold hands and stroll around NYC. [PopSugar]

– Kat Dennings and Nikki Reed at the filming of HANSON’s new video. [ONTD!]

– Tommy Chong says that the Biebs is talented because he smokes weed. Every time I see Tommy Chong I remember when he was in That 70’s Show and he was in love with Kitty and wrote her a love letter that said ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, milk, eggs, bread.’ I’m not exaggerating. Every single time. [TMZ]

– Listen to Willow Smith’s somber track ‘Sugar and Spice’. [Idolator]

– Courtney Stodden wearing the stripper-iest (not a word, go with it) heels you will see all day. [ONTD!]

– Are Britney and Jason on the rocks? I hope not. [Celebitchy]

– Snooki already wants another baby. [ONTD!]

– JWoww masturbates to The Dark Knight Rises, or at least, that’s what she told Jay Leno. [GossipCop]

– Disney/Pixar release a clip from their new short film ‘Blue Umbrella’. [PITNB]

– I didn’t think Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christiansen were still on, but hey, here they are getting lunch. [ONTD!]

– Everything you need to know about Faye Resnick. Plus, you get to relive Camille’s best moment, the ‘Oh! I know where I know you from. Playboy. I saw you in Playboy’ and the amazing ‘the morally corrupt Faye Resnick’ line. God, I love Camille. [BuzzFeed]

– How is it that I didn’t even know The Real Housewives of Vancouver was a thing? [ONTD!]

– Kate Middleton tuns 31, here are some cute photos of her and Wills. [PopSugar]

– Demi Lovato’s new single is probably called ‘Pieces of a Heart’. [Idolator]

– Rupert Everett says he got mad at the Catholic church so he slutted it up and slept with Ian McKellen. That’ll teach ’em. [ONTD!]

– Prince Harry pens a birthday letter to a fellow soldier’s young daughter. [PITNB]

– Beyonce covers GQ’s 100 sexiest women of the 21st century issue. [ONTD!]

– 11 of the nicest celebrities ever. [BuzzFeed]

– Petra Ecclestone has remodeled her home/Candy and Aaron Spelling’s old mansion. It looks how you’d expect it to, basically. [TMZ]

– Jessie J underestimated the power of the #RihannaNavy, dissed RiRi and then had to take it back. [ONTD!]

– Zooey Deschanel and Mindy Kaling promoting New Girl/The Mindy Project. [JustJaredJr]

– Oxygen has a show called ‘Fat Girl Revenge,’ which is not ‘Revenge’ with a fat girl playing Emily/Amanda, but rather, a reality show where formerly fat girls get revenge on people who wronged them when they were fat. Either way I’d watch it though? [ONTD!]

– Maude Apatow impersonates the Kardashians in a deleted ‘This is 40’ scene. [GossipCop]

– Charlie Sheen has hooked up with another porn star/goddess. Her name is Georgia Jones. [TMZ]

– Check out all these short dudes in Hollywood. [BuzzFeed]

– Bond’s been like everywhere except Australia. [ONTD!]

– Miranda Lambert still hates Chris Brown. You and me both, gurl! [GossipCop]

– ’80’s supermodels then and now. [TheChive]

– Ryan Gosling’s mother wore Eva Mendes’ clothes to the ‘Gangster Squad’ premiere. Creepy or cute? I can’t decide. Also here are a bunch of interviews from the premiere. [GossipCop, ONTD!]

– The guy who directed ‘Snakes on a Plane’ died, TMZ says he was ‘sssssssssixty’ which seems inappropriate but at the same time, I kinda like it. [TMZ]

– Fred Armisen, Elisabeth Moss’ ex, or as I know him ‘the “mi scusi” guy from “Eurotrip”,’ says he was a ‘terrible husband’ to Elisabeth. [GossipCop]

– Some girl ‘catfished’ her friend, he didn’t think it was heaps funny. [ONTD!]

– It’s official, Amy Winehouse died from accidental alcohol poisoning. I feel like the second coroner was unnecessary, hey. [HuffingtonPost]

– Melbourne police chase a kangaroo through a car park. [BuzzFeed]

– Karrueche Tran says that she ‘won’t be consumed in [the] negativity’ that is Breezy and RiRi. [GossipCop]

– Kimye bought an $11 million mansion in Bel Air, Kanye wants Kim to record a track with him while she’s pregnant. Blergh. Let’s put that in the ‘ideas that suck’ pile, yeah? [TMZ, ONTD!]

– David Bowie announced first album in 10 years, releases a song called ‘Where Are We Now’? [GossipCop]


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 8, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 7, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 6, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 5, 2013.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about: January 4, 2013.

Nick Stahl is still crazy, he got arrested for having a wank in a porn store.



So you remember back in May when Nick Stahl went missing for ages and then was all like ‘Surprise! I’m in rehab!’ well, today he’s popped up (literally… LOL DICK JOKES!) having a wank in a porn store.

From TMZ:

Law enforcement tells us, LAPD undercover vice officers were conducting a routine check of an adult store in Hollywood around 6PM — and found Stahl alone in a private booth, watching a porno, and committing a “lewd act.”

We’re told the “Terminator 3” star appeared to be “touching himself” — you can figure out the rest — and he was booked for lewd conduct … a misdemeanor.

Essentially, what I’m gathering from this story is that Nick Stahl acted out the video for Eminem’s ‘Ass Like That’:


Okay, so I love that song so much and I’m so happy that Nick has presented me with this perfect opportunity to use it in a blog.

Also, I kind of love crazy Nick Stahl for staying within the realm of ‘entertaining crazy’, as opposed to ‘off the deep end upsetting crazy’. Good on him. Personally I can’t wait to see what he does next.


Related posts:

Nick Stahl has turned up in rehab.

If you guys see Nick Stahl anywhere call the cops, because he’s missing.


Maybe Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes can be cellmates, because LiLo’s going back to jail.

Just to be clear, this post isn’t really Amanda Bynes related, but she’s got a hearing coming up too, so there’s a chance her ass is headed to jail too, but that’s not why we’re here today.

Lindsay is almost certainly going back to prison after being hit with four criminal charges on two different coasts in one day. Ouch.

Okay, so you remember back in July when LiLo was filming Liz & Dick and got into that car accident on the highway and then in the following days it basically came out that  she was the one who was driving but she made her assistant take the blame for it because it said in her Liz & Dick contract that she wasn’t allowed to drive? Well, all that just blew up in her face. She was charged with giving false information (6 months in jail), obstructing or resisting a police officer in the performance of his duty (1 year in jail), and reckless driving (90 days in jail).

After that, Lindsay decided the best thing to do would be to go out partying, get shitfaced and punch a girl in the face. That’s how I like to let off steam when I find out I’m probably going back to prison, make the situation infinitely worse for myself with a cheeky assault charge.

LiLo was at the nightclub Avenue, and a well-known psychic called Tiffany Mitchell was there. She went up to Linds and said she had a premonition about her and offered her a free reading. Lindsay declined, asking for space, but as soon as she turned her back on Tiffany, told her friends she was a ‘fucking gypsy’, which of course, Tiffany overheard. How these people head anything in clubs is beyond me. I am such an old person.

Anyway, Tiffany was pissed about it and decided to go for the emotional jugular, calling her a whore and  telling her that Liz & Dick sucked. Lindsay didn’t take too well to that, unsurprisingly, and punched Tiffany in the eye.

But that’s not all. It’s a Lindsay Lohan drama, that’s never all. Earlier in the night, Lindsay was at a Justin Bieber concert, not for the Biebs but rather, for The Wanted, who are opening for JB at the moment. This might be the strangest part of the story because The Wanted are just a cheap version of 1D, aren’t they? Okay, I’m kind of kidding, I really like that Chasing the Sun song they have.

Anyway, Lindsay has apparently set her sights on Max George, who is this guy from The Wanted:


Rumour has it that Tiffany knows Max and was chatting to him early in the night, which made Lindsay jealous, even though Tiffany is married and there was nothing going on between them. Apparently he turned Lindsay down, which made her angry, and then the whole thing blew up. Reports are kind of sketchy so it’s hard to separate fact from fiction.

Now for the most interesting part of the whole post, you can CLICK HERE TO SEE LINDSAY BEING ARRESTED. She’s in cuffs and keeps saying ‘are you kidding me?!’ over and over.

Lindsay’s assistant, presumably the one who she made take the blame for the crash back in June, tweeted this to her this morning:

@lindsaylohan after bailing you out last night I HOPE and PRAY you get the help you so desperately need.

We are ALL rooting for you. xxx.

Stay tuneeeeeeeeeeeeed…


Related posts:

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 28, 2012.

Everything the Internet has to say about Liz & Dick.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 26, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 25, 2012.

The stories I don’t have time to tell you about myself: November 24, 2012.

I guess Jenelle misses Amber, because she got herself arrested again.


What a loser. I’m serious. This girl has had opportunities practically shoved down her throat since getting pregnant at such a young age; money, support, and chances to get help over and over again, and she just throws it all away every single time.

If what you’re thinking is ‘but Stephanie, LiLo does the same thing and you don’t get on her case about it,’ well, that’s fair enough, but Lindsay doesn’t have a kid. Jace will probably watch Teen Mom 2 one day and see his mother (who, by that stage, will probably be serving time because I don’t see her life turning around any time soon) being offered all kinds of options, and instead choosing to spend her time smoking pot when she’s on probation to do the opposite, and getting into ridiculous fights. Jenelle only thinks about herself, and because she’s a profoundly stupid girl, her kid is going to end up paying the price.

Anyway, enough ranting, let’s run through the situation real quick.

Basically, her and her boyfriend/ex/fiance Gary got into some fight, it got heated, and she called the cops. Eight bucks said she didn’t think they’d arrest her, too. See? Profoundly stupid.

As it happened, they both got arrested for simple assault, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, and possession of controlled substance. Gary was also arrested for assault on a female. Sounds like a great guy.

After they got bailed out, Gary tweeted that he was calling off the engagement (again) and said that Jenelle had ‘ruined his life.’ Betcha they’ll be back on tomorrow!

Fuck these two, seriously.


Related posts:

Jenelle Evans is a stupid hoe.

Amber Portwood’s not going to be famous anymore. Good riddance.

Amber Portwood is fucked.

Hopefully this is the last time we have to talk about Amber Portwood.

If your name is Snooki, you’re not ready to have a kid.